Remorse
by FionnaCosplayer
Summary: Harry is feeling suicidal after the final battle of of June and Draco is around to fix him up. It sucks, but read it if you want. Self Harm and Suicidal themes. MxM Harry IS OOC in this one. So, beware.
1. Chapter 1

They were all too wrapped up in their own little worlds to wonder what happened to heim anymore. They all had families who were looking after them, trying to assess the damage done to them by the _Death Eaters_ and various falling parts of the almost destroyed castle to notice anything else besides.

The war was over by half an hour.

No one noticed when he slipped out. No one looked up as he walked by. No one said a god damn thing.

Harry walked out of the Great Hall and up the staircases leading to Gryffindor tower. He walked into the seventh year boy's dormitory, and laid down on a random bed. He breathed in the scent of the pillow beneath his head, and choked back tears when he realized it was Seamus's scent. He remembered the forever bright boy who had always been trying to turn water, or any other liquid, into some form of rum. The tears flowed freely now. He remembered the accent which the boy had, which became more pronounced after he came back to school after the summers. He thought of Seamus at practice with him, sometimes his eyebrows missing from potions blowing up in his face.

It wasn't fair, Harry thought. All of the lives that had been laid down, no one deserved to die. He cried harder, finally letting the grief and pain overtake him until he could stand it no more. He had to do something to ease the pain. But what could he do? He couldn't bring back the dead, he couldn't change what happened, and he damn well couldn't continue crying about it. He deserved to die for what he did. He had basically murdered those people. All those innocent people...

Suddenly, Harry grabbed his arm and dug his fingernails into the flesh. He thought of Seamus, and the countless of others who lost their lives in the final battle.

The pain from his nails gouging his skin wasn't enough. He dug his nails into his arm harder and dragged them down the outside of his arm. They created angry bright red marks almost instantly.

It still wasn't enough though. He deserved to be hurt for everyone who had died for him. No one should have died except for him. And he greatly wished he had.

The pain he had caused was a small relief from the pain of losing his friend, but it still wasn't enough.

He lifted his head, and looked around the room. Glass shards from the broken window above him littered the floor. He picked one up and harshly pressed it to the flesh on his arm. He swallowed thickly before dragging it down the inside of his arms. His skin tore open and the blood flowed easily, much to his wanting. He deserved this. He deserved every bad thing that had happened to him.

It was fitting wasn't it: His blood for Seamus's and the blood of every else's. It was his sacrifice for everyone who had sacrificed themselves for him. For the war.

He was responsible for all those deaths, so why not be punished. And who better to punish him than himself? No one. And he did.

He found a...relief in seeing the blood drip down his arm and onto the bed and carpet, all over his pants and shirt.

So he did it again.

And again.

And again.

And again until he lost count.

When he could no longer feel anything, he put down the glass and laid down feeling more tired than he ever had before. His head fell to the pillow and he waited for the darkness to swallow him up.

It wasn't long before he was swallowed up in the awaiting darkness.

**_What the Fuck!_**

Harry woke up with a stinging arm, and in a pool of blood. He stared dazedly around the dormitory, seeing no one with him, and shook himself awake. He looked down at his arm and fell back on the bed. He hadn't fainted no, but he felt like crawling under a rock and dying. He was in anguish. He was about to face the morning after. He dreaded it, but he knew it had to come sooner or later. He got up and was about to walk over to the door leading to the common room, when he looked down at his arms.

He saw the cuts and dried blood, and looked around him. He found a shirt and a cup. He tore the shirt into strips and cast a spell to fill the cup with water. He sat there patiently cleaning his wounds, relishing in the stinging of the clean water hitting the cuts. It was nothing less than what he deserved after all.

After they were all clean, he took out his wand and summoned the first aid kit that he knew was somewhere in the dormitory, and took the bandages, before wrapping them around his arm. He pulled his sleeve down so that people wouldn't notice.

When he was satisfied with that, he turned to look at what he was wearing: Torn up jeans, and a slightly messed up shirt. He used a cleaning spell on it and then used it on the rest of his clothes. He was about to leave when he remembered to pool of blood on the bed and floor. He knew he couldn't leave it there, lest someone find out it was from him, and used the same cleaning spell on it he had for his clothes. He cast one more look at the room around him and left the Dorms, went through the Common Room and straight out to the Great Hall.

When he opened the doors, he was immediately pulled into a fierce hug and almost screamed until he discerned it as Mrs. Weasely. He gave her a weak hug back.

She let go and stood back, her hands on his shoulders, eyes searching him all over making sure he was okay. He was, and he let her know that. She let him go and went back to join the rest of her family, leaving him to stand there. He didn't follow her, knowing that this was strictly a family thing. Miraculously food had appeared at the tables, and he saw that it looked like any other breakfast, except for the families there. He settled at the far end of the Gryffindor table, but still close enough to the Weasely's so that they could converse with him.

He felt like getting up and walking back to the tower and sleeping for the next thousand years. He barely resisted the urge, and had barely taken a bite of his eggs when a tentative hand tapped him on the shoulder.

Harry turned around and saw Draco Malfoy standing behind him looking remorseful, wary, and slightly relieved. Harry suspected that it was from not being hexed to oblivion.

"I would like to thank you," Draco said, "You saved me, my mother, and everyone else. Sorry for everything. Truce?"

He held out his hand and Harry stared at it for a moment before taking it. He shook it and pulled back before saying, "Truce. Will you be coming back next year?"

Draco nodded and gave Harry a small smile.

Harry was a little surprised, and gave him a small smile back. He even went so far as to offer Draco the spot next to him.

Draco declined, saying he had to get back to his mum and dad, but gave Harry another one of his small smiles.

When Harry turned around, and Draco turned to go back to his parents, he could not help but feel unworthy of the words Draco said. He didn't deserve kind words. He deserved to be called unspeakable words. Harsh, mean, unforgiving vile words. He almost wanted Draco to yell at him and go back to his old ways of hate. It was nothing less than what he _knew_ He deserved.

He hated it. He hated the kind words, the smiles, the hugs, the gentle touches, like touching his arm. He hated them all. He put on a smile, and accepted them.

He looked toward Draco once more, and saw the blonde frowning. He thought it was at the people who were clamored around him. He would have frowned too, if the people left him alone long enough to merit such actions. His face was was starting to hurt from smiling so much.

"Thank you Mr. Potter."

"Wonderful job Harry."

"You saved us all!"

Harry couldn't take it anymore. It was getting to be too much for him. The random people, being _happy_ he was alive. _Happy_ for him and his success of defeating Voldemort.

Finally he decided that enough was enough. He turned to go, telling them all he was extremely tired, and practically ran from them. They smiled after him, thinking nothing of his quick departure, chalking it up to the Final Battle that had drained him.

One person noticed the raven run out of the hall, and he knew that it had absolutely nothing to do with tiredness.

_**What the fuck!**_H

Back in the Hallway, Harry was doubled over behind a statue he remembered, but could never name. He was panting, and almost hyperventilating. It had taken all his self control not to collapse right there in front of all those people. He knew that if he had he would be taken to Mme. Pomfrey, and that was the last thing he needed. She would insist healing every part of him, and he knew that included the cuts. He didn't want those to go away. They were his punishment for what he did.

He knew he wasn't worthy of the kind words people had said to him.

Harry came across a thought.

They were lying.

They had to be.

Yes, it all made sense now. They were all lying to him. Telling him things, trying to make him think other wise.

But, why would they all lie to him. Maybe they wanted to make him feel guitly because they blamed him for all of the deaths he had caused. Maybe they wanted him to die too.

_That must be it_, he thought. _They want me to die too._

He fished around in his pocket for the shard of glass he had tucked away earlier. It was still as sharp as last night, though he expected nothing less. He looked at hi bandaged arm, and transferred the glass to that arm. He would mar both arms, making up for everyone. It was only right after all.

He choked back tears, not because of the pain he knew would follow, but because he knew this was the only thing he was worthy of. Pain. Simple as that. The only thing he knew was rightfully his was the pain that this would cause, so he pressed the shard especially hard, and began once more to drag it down his arms. He cut his arms in long and short quick and long strokes, that made him feel even slight relief from the pain

He knew it wouldn't last, and he was right.

He made the last cut, and put the shard away, before turning, blood running down his arm, and sank to the ground, just as someone ran around the corner.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco rounded the corner just after Harry fell. At first he didn't see the boy, for he was too frantic in his search. And when he did, he sort of wished he hadn't.

The Raven was on the ground, face up, and bleeding severely from his arms. Harry had torn the barely healing cuts on his other arm, and they began to bleed through the makeshift bandages on his arm.

Draco saw them, and gasped. What was the Raven doing? Was this from yesterday? Had he done this himself? Why would he do that? Were all the questions going through Draco's head in less than three seconds as he dropped to his Knees beside the boy and began to look him over.

He had a few healing skills, he needed them. After all, he _was_ Lucius Malfoy's son. His mother was more adept than him, but he couldn't go get her, Harry might not even be alive by time he got back. It was a five minute _run_ there. And how long would it take for him to get to her, and convince her to come with him? He could _not_ take that chance.

He began to work furiously, doing cleaning spells, banishing used, bloody rags, and bandaging up the Raven on the floor, who had almost bled to death.

It took him over an hour and a half, because he had to clean each cut individually. As soon as he had cleaned the one arm, the freshly marred one, he thought about healing it, but bandaged it instead. HE would remember to ask the Raven about it when he woke up.

He began to work on the other arm, doing the exact same routine, cleaning, bandaging, but not healing. He felt that he would be able to heal them after they had been explained. If he wasn't given permission, then he would then knock the boy out, and do it by force.

So why wasn't he healing him now?

He wanted Harry to give him an explanation, and he was going to get it, one way or another. He thought he understood why Harry would have done something like this to himself. He retreated his earlier thought of something happening to him during the battle the previous night. Someone who would do this type of thing was unlikely to let the Raven escape with only his arms getting damaged. It made no amount of sense so he retracted it.

When he was completely finished, he banished the things he had used, bandages, bloody cloths, and summoned a cup of water and a rag. He wiped down his forehead, and drank the water and then picked up the Raven carefully and taking him up to the Gryffindor tower. He made sure to take the long way, and secret passages to avoid anyone out wandering the halls, which he new was very unlikely, but he wasn't going to take that chance.

It would be the worst thing for him to be discovered with an unconscious and damaged Harry Potter in his arms, trying to avoid people. He had a feeling that it wouldn't end well. No. He knew how it would end, people would accuse him of harming the Raven, and he knew he would get blamed even if the Raven defended him. He was a Malfoy, that was the way it worked, and mark or no mark, he was going to take the blame for it.

Not to mention that it was the day after "his lord's" downfall. Some would call it revenge. Others would call it attempted murder, he was almost completely innocent, and he was _not_ going to risk that, because he was careless and some idiot jumped to conclusions.

He hoisted the raven higher in his arms, and continued on his way, not stopping until he got to the room of requirement. He paced in front of it three times, asking for a room where the Raven could rest, heal better, and for a small spot in the room for him to rest as well.

The door appeared and he sighed as he walked in and placed Harry on the large king size four poster bed. He walked over to the other side of the bed, where the night stand was, and lit a tea light candle. He checked Harry's bandages, and was satisfied that they had held up through him being carried.

He grabbed a pillow, a blanket, and his own tea light candle, and went to go lay on the smaller bed near the Raven's. He made himself comfortable, and after making sure Harry was still asleep, and would remain asleep for a time, he snuggled down and went to sleep himself.

Then next morning he woke to a crash, a cuss, and the Raven crying.

**Okay, so... I know it's short, but exams are almost upon me, and I have to study/review for them, and I barely have time to do this, and I have to make up days with my art teacher cuz I went over them, but please, be patient with me, because after exams I can update a lot faster.**

**Hang in here with me, Review, la di da di da, and that's it.**

**Lilith G. Astrol**


	3. Chapter 3

_**All righty, because I love you all, here's the next chapter.**_

Harry felt warm when he woke up.

Wait.

He woke up.

He wasn't supposed to have done that. Why was he awake? Why wasn't he dead? Wait...Was he dead? Maybe that was why he felt warm... He reached over and grabbed his arm, and hissed. Yeah, he was definitely not dead. How was that even possible? He remembered last night up until he passed out.

He was being suffocated by the liars and other people who wanted him dead. And then he ran out, and was by the statue that he could never name. He remembered pulling out the shard of glass that he had tucked away. He remembered cutting until he couldn't feel anything anymore, and he remembered collapsing. So why the hell did he wake up? Why wasn't he gone like the rest of the liars out there wanted him to be?

He shot up out of bed, and fell off of it, crashing his head into an end table that had his glasses on them, and cried out. Tears started falling down his face. His arm wounds opened up, his head hurt like no other, and he thought he screamed. But secretly, he was glad for it. If he hadn't fallen, he would have had to have found another way to hurt himself.

He heard the rushing of someone getting up somewhere, the rustle of fabric as the person walked toward him, and as the person bent down to see if he was okay, he saw that it was Draco Malfoy.

The blonde looked at him with worry, which was a lie, and something else that he couldn't name. It was something... different than anyone else looked at him, and he wasn't entirely sure he didn't like it.

He looked up again, and quickly back down when the blonde started to address his wounds. He tried to pull away, but Draco wouldn't let him. He held him tightly, and waited for the Raven to stop struggling before beginning to work on his his forehead, where there was a large gash with blood seeping out of it.

He wouldn't let the Raven go until he was done changing his bandages, replacing them, and vanishing them. Once he let go, the Raven scooted back until he was pressed up against the bed so much that it hurt. Exactly what he wanted. He just looked at the blonde, who looked back, and as the two looked at each other, they never blinked, not even once.

They didn't say anything, just continued to stare at each other, and try to figure out why they couldn't look away.

Harry was the first to drop his gaze, and went on staring at the floor. He thought about all that the blonde had done for him, since last night apparently, and couldn't figure out why the blonde had done it. It wasn't something that Draco would do, especially for Harry. The way he saw it, if it had been the blonde had been the one to find him, and bring him here, and he obviously was, then why did he heal him then? Why didn't he just leave him there like Harry had wanted him to?

He started to panic then. If Draco had saved him, then he must want something from him. He wanted something, because he felt Harry owed him for saving his life. But Harry didn't want it saved, did that negate the fact that he still owed Draco?

Harry started to think of the reasons why the blonde would still want him around, and thought that it must be because he wanted to make the Raven's life hell. It was easier to accept than anything else he had come up with.

Of course! That was it! Draco wanted to save him because his father was by now, in Azkaban, serving time, possibly for the rest of his natural born life, and he felt that it was all Harry's fault. And it probably was. He didn't have to say anything about Draco's father, and what role he played in Voldemort's doings, but he had to. It was, used to be, in his blood. And now, Draco was going to make him suffer for it, not that Harry minded in the least.

He was the cause of everyone else's suffering, and mourning, and crying, and screaming, so why not his enemies too? He looked back up at Draco, who hadn't stopped looking at the Raven, and started to say something.

_**Kjgh;djfhgs;dg sdkfa gfai dsfgha erig fsdfhn;sd**_

Draco watched as Harry's face went through six or seven different emotional transformations in the span of a few minutes. He watched, looking closely for signs of anything that would indicate that the boy was going to lash out at himself, or Draco, and smartly kept his distance. Harry hadn't said anything since he had woken up, and Draco wasn't going to disrupt that, no matter how much he wanted to ask Harry every question that he could think of.

He occasionally looked up at a clock on the wall, and noted that He and Harry had been here for the rest of the night, and most of the day. It didn't surprise him in the least, and as he thought about it, he came to the realization that he didn't mind spending time away from everyone and everything else. He knew that Granger and Weasley were looking for their little hero, but he also knew that Harry had no wish to see them, or anything else at that moment. He was perfectly content to sit there for the rest of the day and watch Harry, and make sure that no harm came to the boy sitting as far from him as the bed would allow him to go.

With as much force as he was pressing into the bed, he knew that it had to have hurt, and would probably even leave a bruise. He was tempted to yank the boy away from the bed and place him somewhere he wouldn't become a danger to himself or anyone else, but he had no idea what would happen to him if he even so much as breathed anywhere near the boy, and he was not willing to take that risk.

Just as he thought that the boy had completely forgotten his presence, he looked up at Draco. His eyes were contemplative, and that scared Draco for some reason.

He knew Harry was about to speak, and braced himself for an onslaught of insults, curses, and yelling, but was wholly surprised when nothing of the sort happened.

He was completely taken aback when Harry did speak. It was the question that he hadn't prepared himself for.

He almost fell back on his ass in surprise when Harry said, "Why didn't you heal me?"

* * *

Herro!

Anywho, I know that you have been bugging b=for this chapter, and i finally have given it to you, and as stated in the last authors notes at the bottom of my last two updates, I was stressed about prom and shite, and I still have to worry about exams before the updates can become more and more frequent, but I have to ask you something,

**Should I do a oneshot entirely in leet speak?**

I've been thinking about it, and its been bugging the hellz outta me, and iono...

I hope this will hold you over until the next installment.

Love,

Lilith G. Astrol


	4. Chapter 4

Draco Malfoy was stunned beyond belief. Harry had just woken up, fell off his bed, was crying, and all he had to say was, "Why didn't you heal me?"

Draco was obviously missing something here. It might have been the way that the Raven stared at him. It might have been the way Harry wasn't ashamed of himself like Draco knew he would be after attempting to kill himself. It also might have been the fact that that was the last question he thought he would hear come out of Harry's mouth. But then again, he _was_ Harry Potter after all.

The blonde was still at a loss as to what to answer. Because really, he didn't even know himself. HE was still wondering as to why he had taken care of the boy, but then again, he had offered a truce, and a truce is where you are nice to people right?

Finally he came up with and answer.

"I did heal you. I bandaged up your arm, cleaned your wounds, stopped the bleeding, changed your bandages, and did everything else that I knew how to do. I did heal you..."

Harry sighed and said softly, "No Draco. I meant, why didn't you close up the wounds. Why didn't you leave me there. Why are you even bothering?"

Draco sighed, and said as equally soft, "Because Po-Harry, you were dying. I had to save you. I felt compelled to after I watched you rush out of the Great Hall like that. Yes, I saw you run away from all of those people. You looked like you were having a panic attack, and I just felt the need to go after you. I don't know why, so don't ask."

Harry nodded to him, telling him to continue.

"I didn't close up the wounds because you made them intentionally. And you wanted to suffer, so I'm letting you. Not for long though, because after you explain to me what in the hell made you do something so stupid as to cut yourself I am going to heal them. But the scars will still be there."

"Why? I mean if you're going to heal me and close them up, why leave a scar?"

"Not all of them will scar, just the exceedingly deep ones. And because I only know the basics, not enough to make it so there is no scar. And unless you want to go to Mme. Pomfrey, and explain all this to _her_, you will just have to settle from me."

Harry contemplated actually going to Mme. Pomfrey, but then she would ask, he would have to tell, and everyone else would be called in and he would be labeled. He didn't want anyone involved in this. He didn't even want Draco involved in it, but there was nothing he could do about that now, so he settled with letting the blonde take care of him.

Draco could be lying. In fact, he probably was. It made no difference to him, because his choices were limited. Either he could put a little faith in Draco, see where it went, or he could close off from him and have the blonde tell the world that their "Golden Boy" was suicidal. That would be a level of stupidity that not even he was dumb enough to reach.

He thought, and came up with a compromise. He wouldn't trust Draco at all, and the Wizarding world would find out nothing about him that he didn't want them to. He really was something when he sat there and thought things through.

He had to clear one thing up before he would allow that to happen though. He didn't exactly trust Draco completely, but that was not his problem, seeing as the blonde was an asshole towards Harry and his...friends for the past seven years. He was not about to open up everything just because they had some form of a truce.

He did however trust the blonde to fix him up to his hearts content. That would not mean however, that he would stop simply because Draco had asked him to. And it would be stupid for the blonde to even consider that notion.

He stared off into space. When he focused again, he opened his mouth, and spoke very quietly.

Draco was stunned absolutely speechless yet again.

_**Ldkjadfklajds ;dklfj aoi fsd idfue ijsfiowe**_

Draco watched Harry. He seemed to be doing a lot of that today. He busied himself with cleaning the wounds, manually, and bandaging them yet again. Most of the shallow cuts were beginning to scab over and heal on their own. He took as much time as he could carefully checking Harry's arms.

The longer he took to manually 'fix' them, the more time he got to spend with Harry, and for some reason he was not at all upset at the prospect.

He finally finished and just sat there looking at Harry. He didn't know what to say, if anything was to be said, and waited. He wasn't going to offer up anything unless Harry was going to offer up anything first.

HE didn't really know who to go about having a conversation with the "Savior of the Wizarding World" without it ending up in a physical fight. He looked up at Harry, to find that the Raven was staring intently at him, and blushed before looking back into his lap. It was extremely awkward on his part, and he didn't know what to do at all.

Conversations with people were not his strong point. Yes he talked to people, well, ordered them out of his way, insulted them, or was mean to them, but those didn't count. He hated being socially awkward.

He was about to say something to the Raven when said boy spoke up.

"Before I tell you anything, I want you to make the Vow promising that you will never, under any circumstances, write, spoken, magical, or otherwise tell anyone about this, talk about it with them, unless I give you permission."

Draco looked absolutely stunned at the prospect.

On the inside though, he knew he should have expected nothing less than this from Harry.

_**Dfjashdfas I'm dfjh;eifhqwef done dsfhefioqwef with sdfjkh;dfadf chapter sdjkfasdfajh four! ;dskjf**_

So, here it is.

I know that its really really late, but I got caught up with shit. And its summer now so I can update lots faster.

Until then my duckies!

Love,

Lilith G. Astroll


	5. Chapter 5

Draco didn't know what to do. Either he agreed to never speak a word about any of this to anyone, and be able to heal Harry, who could without him die because of his...predicament, or he walked out of the room right now, and probably never speak to the Raven again.

"Fine. I'll make the vow, but, not yet. I want you to do it when you're at full strength, and know what you're getting us both into."

"I already know what I'm getting myself into Draco. I just don't want the rest of the world finding out about this. I have had enough pity from those bastards, I don't need more. And I want to make sure you wont say anything to anyone about it either."

Draco started to say something, and then promptly shut up. He knew where the Raven was coming from. They didn't have the greatest track record ever, but that was going to change. He wanted the ex-Gryffindor to be able to trust him, but they could work on that later. Right now, they had to establish rules, and things like that so that they each knew where the other stood on the relationship.

Harry was forever the patient, and Draco was going to be his own personal healer.

Draco laughed. It was funny, and ironic in a way.

"You know, I've spent the better part of six, almost seven, years tormenting you and your friends, and you defended them, and healed them, and now, I'm going to be the one healing you. Irony at its sweetest I presume."

"Fate does seem to have it in for us don't you think?"

Draco smiled at that and scooted over so that he was sitting next to the Raven, who was still pressed harshly againts the bed frame. He knew that it was going to bruise, but it was just one more thing that Draco was going to have to learn to heal when Harry asked for it, or when he didn't ask and Draco discovered it. Which ever came first.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you do it?"

"Because I got overwhelmed. I had all this pressure on me to kill someone, even though he was an evil someone, and I caused the deaths of so many people. I just... I didn't know what to do anymore. I have to hurt and spill my blood because others did that for me, even when they knew it was going to get them killed. It's only fair."

They sat there for a while, while Draco ingested this new bit of information. He guessed it made sense, but that didn't mean he agreed with it or liked it. HE still thought that the Raven shouldn't be feeling like this, but it wasn't his place to tell him that.

Harry spoke up again, this time, of his own accord.

"It never fully goes away. No matter how hard I press, no matter hoe much it hurts, its still not enough to make it fully go away."

Draco absently nodded and looked away, bringing his knees up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his legs, and laid his chin on his knee, tilted so that he could get a good look at Harry, who was staring off into space thinking about go knows what.

Suddenly, Draco had an idea. It wasn't one of his best, but it would make him, and hopefully Harry feel better.

He got up, dusted off his pants, and reached his hand down to Harry, who just stared at it.

"Take it. It's just a hand."

Reluctantly Harry did, and he couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going on when Draco dragged him out of the room. He watched as Draco paced in front of it three times, asking for what he didn't know, and as soon as the door reappeared, Draco dragged him back inside, being mindful of his injuries.

Harry had to look at the room in awe. There was a bar, filled with all kinds of alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages, muggle and magical. There was a mini fridge, filled with snacks no doubt, and a freezer filled with other frozen snacks he guessed. There was two beds, on silver, one red, a couch, a fire, with a rug and two bean bag chairs in front of it, and a bunch of other things he couldn't even name.

In short the room looked like something someone would use to get drunk off their ass, and be able to sleep it off without having to stumble drunkenly back to their common room. He wasn't sure exactly what Draco had planned for the two of them, but he could take a guess.

"Draco, what is all of this?"

"Well," Draco said almost shyly, "I plan on getting sloshed, shit faced, drunk as fuck, fucked up like a screen door in the slums, hammered, blitzed, and just plain all fucked up. You can too, or you can watch me, but, seeing as I am of age, and I have never done it before, I plan to. Seems like fun..."

He proved his point, by heading back behind the bar and grabbing about six or seven different drinks. He unscrewed the caps of every single one and sniffed them. He pulled a few more off the shelf, and did the same, before pulling roughly twelve shot glasses off a shelf near to where a bottle opened was.

He set on shot glass before each bottle, poured himself a shot of every single one of them, put the bottles away and started at the first glass.

Harry watched with mild interest as Draco lifted the shot, and tossed it back.

He laughed as Draco coughed, and grimaced before writing down on a chalk board, a tally mark, and the name of the nasty brew that he had just consumed.

"If you aren't going to do anything but stare at me, at least keep score."

"No. I am probably going to end up regretting this, but... maybe I'll join you. No harm in it right?"

"That's the spirit," Draco yelled happily as he downed another shot, smiled, added another tally, and began to work on the other shots while Harry busied himself with finding a bottle of Fire Whiskey.

About half an hour later, Draco was sloshed, shit faced, drunk as fuck, fucked up like a screen door in the slums, hammered, blitzed, and just plain all fucked up. He had downed all the shots, keeping tally, and writing down the names of the ones he thought were nasty tasting.

"You...you aaaare very priddy... did joo knoooow tha'?"

Harry drunkenly asked. His words were slurring, but he didn't care. He was happy, drunk, and calmed down. Being drunk wasn't so bad.

"Yesh...ac – actooo – yesh... yooouu an me, we're like... besht friendshhhh right? I've alwaysh waaaanted a BFF... Best friennnds for ev- for liiife.. I always wannnnted a BFF... OH! We can be like BF'sF's..."

Draco laughed in between getting out what he wanted, and this made Harry laugh like no tomorrow.

"Shtoooop laffin.. 's not amus – amu – funny."

This only made Harry laugh more, and crawl over towards Draco and sit directly in front of him. The blonde went cross eyed trying to keep him in focus.

Harry smiled at him, albeit a little lopsided, and leaned in to brush the fringe from Draco's face. The blonde was trying to look at Harry, which was near impossible when he was that close, so the blonde did the only thing that made sense to him. He leaned back. But, he also took Harry with him, who found himself suddenly sprawled in the blondes lap, with their lips connected. Harry didn't find this shocking in the least, and even went so far as to giggle. Which made Draco giggle. Which made them laugh even harder.

What Harry couldn't process in his drunken stated of mind, was why he had never before kissed Draco. So, with as much accuracy as a drunk person could have, he leaned forward, and kissed the blonde, who wasn't stunned in the least, and kissed back. They soon found themselves switched, with Draco between Harry's legs.

Draco clumsily tried to pick the brunette up, which didn't work on the first try, nor the second try, but he finally got it on the third. He carried them both to the bed, their lips still working furiously with each other, and deposited the brunette none too gracefully on the fluffy mattress before following, and picking up where they left off.

The next morning, Draco woke up in a warm bed, with his arms wrapped around someone, who snuggled closer. He thought nothing of it, his sleepy mind to focused on going back to sleep to worry at the moment, and went back to sleep, clutching the warm body closer to him.

A few hours later, Draco was violently shoved off the bed, folloing a scream, and a thumo, which alerted him to the fact that the othe person had fallen off their side of the bed.

Something in his stomach told him that today wasn't going to start off well.

_**Ksdljfsjdkfhg done. Sdjkfha sfdfdjkha dfg isf[aweiofjsdfh sjdfhbafuawef sdjfadf eiwo[sdifh;aewifdfa**_

There my lovelies, is Chapter … 5! there we go, I actually had to look on my computer for that one. Anywho, thank you all for being so patient. I plan on Posting at least one chapter for every story each week, maybe more than that if time permits. Thanks for being so patient.

I love you all,

Lilith G. Astroll


	6. Chapter 6

Harry was once again, warm when he woke up, and once again, it didn't make sense to him. He should not have been warm. He should have been cold, in his own bed, and alone, but apparently that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

He opened his eyes, and took note of a few things, first, he was warm. Second, he was in a bed with someone. Third, that someone had his arms wrapped around him. Fourth, that someone was not letting him go. Fifth, and last, he felt _safe_ an _happy_. Something he should not have been feeling at all. He tried to move, but the arms just tightened around him more.

Deciding that he was getting no where with this, he thought about attempting to wake the other up. He turned around in the arms holding him, and absently noted that the body was male. Sudden dread filled his stomach, and he knew that he was not going to have a pleasant morning.

Wasting no more time, he looked up into the face of one Draco Malfoy. One sleeping Draco Malfoy to be exact. He guessed that he should have known really. He didn't know why, but he thought of just staying there, to feel safe and happy, when a thought came to him.

_'Oh, if Seamus could see me now...'_

Instantly his good mood shattered. He didn't know what else to do, so he did the one thing he did to everything else.

He shoved the things that had made him happy away, which ended up with Draco being shoved to the floor. Harry scrambled back as far as he could go. It wasn't that far, and soon he found himself tumbling to the floor as well, not caring that he had landed n his ass, only caring that he could feel the pain, and welcomed it. He let out a strangled cry, and the pain invade his senses, overtaking him until it began to fade, much to Harry's displeasure.

He slowly became aware of his senses again, and noticed that there was a rustling of fabric that meant Draco was probably getting dressed. He didn't want to think of what the blonde would say to him when he saw who it was that he had slept with, but then, maybe he did. If Draco told him how much he hated him, how disgusting he was, how much he utterly _loathed_ harry, then maybe it would be alright. He knew that it suited him, how much he needed to be in pain, and seeing how much the blonde had hated them during their school years, he thought that it would be the perfect job for Draco.

He sat there, thinking of nothing other than how much he hated himself, when a soft touch brought him out of his musings. He looked up, and saw Draco, staring at him with nothing but concern in his eyes, and Harry couldn't take it.

He looked away.

He had to. He was not deserving of any sort of worried looks like the one Draco was giving him. HE deserved to be yelled at, to be hated, to be _dead_.

He tore away from the touch, and looked around noting that his boxers were close. He grabbed them, yanked them on, and headed for a door, he didn't care what lay behind it, except that he knew he had to get away from Draco.

As it turned out, it was a bathroom. A nice clean bathroom, with a large tub, a floor length mirror, and different kinds of soaps, shampoos, and various bath things.

He didn't fail to notice that there were shaving utensils either.

He grabbed the razor, and began to tear it apart, ripping off the plastic parts, and hastily trying to wrench one of the flimsy blades free, not caring if his fingers were cut in the process. It was harming him, and that was all he cared about at the moment.

Within two minutes he had one of the blades free, and instead of pressing it harshly against his skin like he wanted to, he just stared at it. It was shining in the light, and he knew nothing except the fact that to him, it was currently the most beautiful thing in the world. He turned it this way and that, and noticed that it shined the most when he had it turned to the slanted part where the sharp edge was.

He smiled faintly, knowing the complete utter havoc and destruction the small object in his fingers could weave with just a touch, he ran his middle finger, the one that wasn't already bleeding, over the edge, and watched as it made a clean, straight, line across his finger. He smiled as the blood began to seep out, not caring as it dripped in the floor, totally engrossed in the sting of pain, and the pure utter happiness it brought him.

After that happiness was something more. He didn't know what it was, but he knew he needed _more_. More pain, more hatred, more everything, and it seemed the only way to get it was to hurt more. So he did the only thing he could do, he delicately took the blade in his hand, and turned it out to face away from him, and quickly ripped it through the skin on the soft inside of his arm. He smiled a serene smile, noting the blood, it was soothing to him to see it run down him arm and splatter on the floor.

There was frantic knocking on the door he was leaning back against, and he ignored it, choosing to make another slice in his skin, further marring it.

It was beautiful, utterly beautiful, seeing the red, a stark contrast against the pure white of the floor beneath him. It wasn't long before the happiness faded. His smile faded, replaced by a frown, and again he pressed the blade to his skin, and made several more cuts, hoping for a prolonged effect.

He was rewarded, and almost moaned at the feel of the pain he was intentionally inflicting on himself.

He was interrupted as the door flew open, knocking him to the ground, and making his pain all the better for him.

On the other side of the now open door stood a panting and flushed Draco Malfoy. A very angry, flushed, panting Draco Malfoy, who looked ready to kill something.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!"

Harry didn't answer, just looked up dazedly, wondering who let him in.

"Answer me!"

Harry just kept looking up, there was no focus in his eyes, and he smiled at Draco.

"It...it feels good...so I thought, why not?"

Draco didn't say anything to him, just picked him up and yanked him out of the bathroom. He was angry, that much was for sure.

He sat Harry down on the other bed, the one they didn't sleep together in, and made Harry show him his arm.

He didn't gasp.

He didn't flinch.

He didn't speak.

All he did was summon the things he would need to bandage them and got to work. He took it slow, and did it the muggle way, with peroxide, q-tips, and everything else.

It hurt, and he wasn't sorry at all.

He knew that he probably wasn't helping Harry's condition at all, but he couldn't stop himself when he was angry.

They had gotten good and drunk, and probably screwed, and when they woke up, Draco was shoved to off the bed. What the hell kind of 'Good Morning' was that? He knew that he should try to calm down, but he couldn't seem to be able to. It was twisting inside him, gnawing at him to just... _hurt_ something. What that something was he didn't know, but he didn't care at the moment.

After he was finished putting the last bandage in place and putting the metal clasp on that would hold the bandage the the last layer below it, he placed Harry's arm down gently, and stood in front of him, barely restraining his anger.

"Why? Why would you do this? What the hell had happened to you after you woke up?"

Harry sobered up, and looked at Draco with a pleading expression.

"I thought...I thought of Seamus."

Draco nodded.

He knew how much the Gryffindor meant to Harry.

"I thought of how...I thought, before I pushed you away, I thought.. 'If Seamus could see me now' and I... I just lost it okay? I thought of how he would laugh his ass off if he could see this morning, wrapped in your arms. He would be literally rolling on the floor. He wouldn't be disgusted, or angry, or anything, because he was _Seamus_. He was understanding where no one else was."

"So, you thought of Seamus, which made you abruptly wake me up by pushing me off the bed, and made you go bat-shit insane and destroy your arm once again?"

"No."

"Then what then! What the hell is so damn bad about waking up in with me!"

"Its because...because I felt warm. I felt safe. I felt _happy_, and I just don't deserve that."

Draco's head was spinning. He didn't know what to do. What to say. So he said nothing. Finally Harry's statement caught up with him and he snapped. He slowly walked over to where Harry was sitting, yanked him up, and slapped him across the face.

Harry gasped.

"You have every damn right to be happy damn it! You have suffered worse than anyone else during this war, and god damn it if you are going to do this anymore!"

Harry looked up and saw the blatant _rage_ in Draco's eyes.

And then he slammed their mouths together in a furious, hot passionate kiss.

It was delicious, it was heaven, it was everything he wanted.

Draco yanked away from him and just stared. He couldn't fathom it, and he was beginning to walk away when Harry's voice stopped him.

"Don't. Don't try to tell me that I deserve anything, because we both know that I damn well don't."

Draco got angry again pushed Harry back roughly until he fell back. He knew he was playing right into Harry's games, acting without out being rational, without thinking, but he couldn't help it. He had to show the other boy that he was wrong, and that he did deserve happiness.

"Stop it! Just stop okay! You have every right to be happy, and you know it. So just STOP!"

He continued to glare at Harry, who still hadn't said anything. This served only to angry Draco more, which he answered with another slap.

"WHY WONT YOU ANSWER ME!"

Harry said nothing, again, and repeated his actions of before, slamming their mouths together.

This time, Draco didn't fight him. He moved him mouth in sync with the smaller boy below him, and when he pulled away, he was panting, and wanting more. He knew that it was wrong, and he didn't care. He pushed the bot back again, none too gently, and crawled on top of him.

He straddled the boy, pinning his arms above his head, and looked at him, their faces were close together, and they were breathing heavy. He didn't know what he was doing, but for some reason, he realized with horror, that he liked what he was doing. He liked Harry pissing him off. He liked to cause the boy pain, that way he could make it better. He searched Harry's eyes, looking for what, he didn't even know.

He growled, actually growled, and latched onto Harry's neck. He bit it harshly, breaking the skin, and kissed it better. And looked up to see Harry's face twisted in ecstasy. He growled again, and kissed Harry, who looked like he was about to scream, and this time, in the good way.

Harry turned his head, whether to look away, or present more of his neck to the blonde, Draco didn't know. He transferred the grip he had on the brunettes hands to just the one, and gripped Harry's chin in one hand, and forced him to look at Draco.

"Why do you do this to me? Why are you purposely making me angry?"

"Because," Harry whispered, "this... this is what I'm missing. This is what makes it go away."

Draco didn't know what to say to that, so instead he let go of Harry's hands and kissed him again.

It was hard, it was rough and to Harry, there was nothing better.

"Draco... If we...if we do this, you have to promise me one thing."

"Whatever you want Harry."

"You have to hurt me. And you can't half ass it either. You have to really hurt me."

This seemed to make Draco think... he couldn't... couldn't actually _hurt_ harry... Could he?

He let go of Harry's hands, and sat up, placing his hands on Harry's chest. He pressed his fingers into the skin, as far as they could go and watched Harry's face as he did so. It looked like he was enjoying every minute of it.

He upped it by digging in his fingernails, and dragging them down Harry's chest. He wasn't at all surprised to see, and hear Harry moan loudly. It was music to his ears, and he instantly became addicted to it. He wanted to hear more and he was going to.

HE pulled his hands away and whispered, "Like that?"

"Yeah... just like that."

Draco nodded, unsure of himself, and leaned down to kiss Harry. It wasn't rough, it wasn't heated, it wasn't furious. It was sweet, and loving, and Harry couldn't stand it.

He pulled away, and looked at Draco, who was shocked.

"Don't. I don't deserve it, and you know it."

Draco gave up. He knew in that moment, that he was never going to be able to shake that attitude from Harry.

He became angry again, attacked Harry's chest with bites full of pain, which translated to pleasure for Harry, who moaned, arching up into Draco's touch. Draco yanked down Harry's boxers, thanking god that they were the only thing he was wearing.

He dragged his nails across Harry's hips, leading them into the 'V' that lead down to his cock. He looked at Harry, who had his head thrown back. It made Draco smirk knowing that he had done that to the brunette. It made him feel...unstoppable. He breathed out a moan, and took the boy below him into his mouth, wanting to make him moan louder than anything else.

Harry's breathing stopped, his heat sped up, and all he could think was, _'Oh my God, Oh my God, OHMYGOD!'_

He almost, _almost_ screamed when that vicious mouth was on him, but he refrained, and practically melted on the spot when Draco pressed his tongue on the slit. He moaned again, and tried to speak, but it didn't quite work.

Draco took his mouth off Harry, and leaned up to kiss him. He couldn't seem to get enough of the taste.

Harry kissed back, his hands around Draco's neck, and tried to get his thinking in check.

Finally he did and asked, "Why...are you... wearing... so...many...clothes?"

"Sorry, let me...rectify...that."

Draco shimmied out of his pants, and Harry was pleased to note that he wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Draco?" Harry asked while the other teen bit him along his neck and jaw, being careful not to harm the brunette's face.

"Hmm?"

"I love what you're doing and all..."

"Go on..."

"Can you... can you just fuck me already?"

Harry turned his head and blushed, which server only to make Draco want him more. He looked at Harry, mouth open, his eyes wide, and as Harry turned his head he almost laughed.

He held himself in check, and said, "Yes, that my dear, is exactly where my dick goes."

Draco promptly closed his mouth, and snarled.

"Harry, Harry, Harry, you underestimate me once again. I may suck your cock, but I also fuck you."

It was Harry's turn for his smile to go drop, but it came back with a vengeance, in the form of a smirk, that Draco felt worried about.

"Alright then," Harry propped himself up on his elbows, and brought himself up to Draco's ear, and finished, "_Master,_ if you think you can then..."

Harry left the statement open and arched up, pressing his cock against Draco's. He pulled away as quickly, and waited for Draco to make his move.

He didn't have to wait long, and exactly as he predicted, Draco slammed him back down, wrenched open his legs, and grabbed the lube that had magically appeared on the night stand. He smirked down as he slathered it on his dick, and without warning he slammed into Harry.

And Harry, well, Harry _screamed_.

It was heaven, it was hell, and by god it. was. perfect.

He thrashed, while Draco waited a few seconds to catch his breath. He knew it was going to be tight, but hell. He didn't know it was going to be like this. He loved it, and it was amazing. He pulled out almost all the way, agonizingly slow, and_ slammed_ back in. He watched Harry's face as he did, and it was like nothing he had ever seen before.

Harry's face was flushed, sweaty, and his hair was fucked up even more than usual. His back was arched, trying to get as much of Draco's cock into him as he could. His hands were fisted into the sheets, and his mouth was open in a silent scream.

He was sex incarnate.

Draco leaned down close to Harry's ear and said, "How was that then, enough for you?"

"N–no. Never. Never enough."

Draco smirked and hauled Harry up so that he was sitting in his lap and said, "Well, if its not to your _liking_ then you do it."

Harry moaned, and rose up, before falling harshly back down, setting a quick, angry pace that was almost too much for Draco to keep up with.

The blonde was mumbling incoherent things between moans.

Harry's arms were once again wrapped around Draco's neck. Draco had his arms wrapped around Harry's waist, and were gouging marks in them with his fingernails. Harry shifted his angle, and screamed again, having found his prostate. He clung to Draco even more and leaned up to kiss the blonde, who was still mumbling things.

"F-fuck Harry...its too...too much..."

Harry could only nod as he fell back and pulled Draco on top of him.

The blonde took charge once again, and began thrusting into Harry with a hard and fast pace. He reached between them and grabbed his cock to pump him.

Their thrusts began to become erratic, and soon, Harry let out a scream that was half agony, half, pain, and pure ecstasy. He came , his essence splattering both of their chests.

Draco was not far off and he too came, emptying himself into Harry, who was panting, trying to catch his breath.

"That...that was... amazing..."

"Told you... I'm the greatest and don't you forget it."

"Yes," Harry yawned, "Master."

Draco groaned and pulled out of Harry. He laid down next to the brunette, and tried to rest. A few things were bugging him though.

What did this make them now?

What would everyone say?

And lastly.

What the hell about the _Vow_?

_**Klgf;adjgha ;dsjfh aerg DONE ;sdfha sdfdfjkhadksf MUTHA asjkdhfa;isdfha FUCKASdjsnfa;jdsf**_

This tool me 8 pages!

EIGHT PAGES!

I thought you guys deserved something nice and LONG after the hell I've put you through for the Story.

To hell with my updating plans.

I'll update whenever I feel like, but you guys will get at LEAST one chapter per story a week as I promised. I like all of the reviews I have gotten, and I thank a certain SOMEONE for giving me some much needed critisism.

BUT, don't think this is the end of Harry's "habits" its going to get worse from here on out.

I'm not sure it will even have a happy ending...

Anywho, I hoped you guys liked it. **:)**

Love you all,

Lilith G. Astroll


	7. Chapter 7

Harry waited until he knew Draco was sleeping before shifting around until he was off the bed. He walked towards the bathroom, thankful that there were towels and soap and shampoo in there. He turned on the water, obscenely cold, and stepped under it immediately, not caring if it made him cold. He sighed, pressing his forehead against the wall and reached for the soap.

He poured some of it onto a wash cloth and began to process of cleaning himself off. He hissed when the soap got into the wounds from earlier that Draco had made. He washed his skin, pretending not to notice the wounds, and pretending he wasn't pressing a little harder than he normally would have.

He rinsed off, and started on his hair, washing it lightly and hoping to prolong the time he could spend in here, not facing the blonde outside.

He didn't know what to do about what had just happened. He was truly torn between doing it again, and swearing himself off from it for the next forever.

He glanced at door of the shower, noting the sharp–looking edges, and shaking his head. What he needed, and what he knew he didn't deserve were tearing his mind apart. He knew that if he cut then it would seem inadequate to what Draco had done, and even though he knew that he didn't deserve Draco and what he did for Harry, he could never live without it. It simply wasn't possible.

He sank down and crawled into the corner, getting the full blast from the shower before barely getting contact with the freezing water. He blinked, not even registering at all where he was.

He thought about Draco.

He thought about Draco hurting him.

And the thought about how much he _liked_ it when Draco hurt him.

He came to the conclusion, that no matter how much he couldn't live without it, no matter how much he needed it, no matter how much he had enjoyed it, it was _never_ happening again. He just didn't deserve to feel...that...complete.

When he was with Draco, nothing was wrong. Nothing bad could happen. Everything was okay.

Except, everything was not okay.

Harry Potter concluded that nothing was going to be okay ever again. He was never going to be okay again. He couldn't be okay. He wasn't meant to be happy, he wasn't meant to be warm, he wasn't meant for someone to care for or about him. He shouldn't have that happen to him.

He had caused the deaths of all those people. If only he had been smarter. Faster. He might have gotten there in time to save them, maybe they would still be alive. Maybe, those liars down in the Great Hall, or maybe they were home now, with what was the rest of their families, mourning and building up their hatred.

He knew they were. They just had to be. It was all his fault that they had died. Maybe if he hadn't even been _born_ then none of this would have ever happened. If he wasn't alive then this wouldn't have happened.

A sudden idea came into his head.

If he wasn't _alive_ then it wouldn't be his problem. He wouldn't have to deal with the fakes, or the liars, or the hatred anymore. He would be _free_. He wouldn't have to listen while people talked behind their backs about him. He wouldn't have to deal with the stares, hate filled, blatant staring, or anything. And the best part?

No one would miss him.

He got up, shut the water off, not even flinching as the ice water pelted his skin, he had been numb to it for a while now. He turned around, facing the sink, and began to look for an instrument. He found none on the sink, so he went through the medicine cabinet. Nothing there. He went through the cabinets under the the sink. Still nothing. He didn't understand. Why couldn't he find one, not even the smallest sharp object.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Draco woke up cold. He turned over, searching for the warmth that Harry gave off, and realized that the raven wasn't there with him. He searched the room for Harry, and had no luck in locating him. He scrambled up out of bed and put on his pants, foregoing the boxers all together. He cast a quick _Tempus_ and saw that it had only been half an hour that he had been sleeping.

He looked all around the room, and noticed the door that hadn't been there before. He went towards it, focused on discovering what was behind it when he heard what sounded like water running. He realized that Harry must be in there, taking a shower.

He froze. When you took a shower, you usually shaved. You shaved with razors. The Room didn't know not to supply those things when Harry was in a bathroom the brunette had requested.

Draco didn't know what to do. So he did the only thing he could do, he checked to see if the door was unlocked, and when he discovered that it wasn't, he snuck in and took all of the razors, and anything else sharp enough to cut skin out. He waited in the doorway for fifteen minutes before the water shut off and a frantic Harry stumbled out.

It made him sick to see Harry frantically search through the cabinets looking for something he was never going to find. He was extremely glad for his decision to take the items now. He had no idea of knowing what was going through Harry's head at present time, but he could take a good guess.

He looked on, and watched as Harry lost hope of finding the very objects that Draco held in his hands. He was a little bit afraid of the panicked expression on Harry's face but that would not make him ever relinquish what he had in his hands.

He started to pity harry, and cleared his throat before saying, "Looking for these?"

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

He was about to rip the bathroom apart, when he heard someone clear their throat. He whipped around and saw Draco standing there, a glare directed in Harry's direction, and holding two instruments in his hands. Harry immediately lunged for them, but Draco dodged, backing up, and keeping the objects in his hands out of Harry's reach.

"Give them to me!"

Draco continued to glare at him, opting to say nothing.

"Didn't you hear me? I said give them to me!"

"No."

Harry looked at him with a dumbfounded expression.

"What do you mean no!"

"I mean, I'm not handing these to you, you will not ever have them in your possession, because I. Am. _Not_. Giving them to you."

"Why not? Why cant you just let me hurt! You know that I–"

"Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare Harry."

"Don't dare what Draco? Don't say that I deserve it? Huh? Is _that_ what I'm not supposed to _dare_ not say?"

"Why? Why must you continue to try and hurt yourself? Why do you think that this is the only thing that you can do?"

"Because. Do you know of the Code of Hammurabi?"

"Yes..." Draco was hesitant about where Harry was going with this, but if he could stall the boy long enough, than maybe, just maybe, he could make him forget about his plans.

"The Code goes like this: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. And guess what? This is my way of repaying those people. They don't want me around them. They hate me. Why would they want me around? They don't even want me _alive_. The only thing I'm good at is causing people pain and anguish, and suffering. Besides, no one would miss me anyway."

"That's not the same thing Harry and you know it. Let me ask you something."

Harry nodded, and Draco continued.

"Did you personally go out and harm those people? Did you kill them? Rape them? Harm them in any other way? Did you cast the _Cruciatus_ curse on them? Did you raid muggle villages and torture them? Did you by any chance...oh I don't know... participate? Did you join the "dark side" and help Voldemort plans? Did you?"

Harry didn't want to answer.

"No," he mumbled, "I didn't."

"Exactly. You didn't. You didn't do any of that to any of those people, and unless you pointed the wand that did those actions, then you didn't cause their deaths in anyway what so ever."

Harry dropped his head.

"What about Cedric? What about him? If I hadn't made him take the Cup with me, then he would still be alive!"

"Did you physically, or magically make him grab the cup? Did you force him too?"

"No."

Harry glared at Draco with everything he had. He glanced at the tools in Draco's hands, and thought about distracting the blonde enough to be able to make a successful grab for them. Draco saw where his gaze was directed, and looked at them for a minute before they disappeared.

Harry was astonished.

"Where did they go! What have you done with them!"

"Banished them. Sent them away. They aren't here."

"Why? Why cant you just let me be? Why cant you just leave me alone?"

"Because-, Draco faltered, "Because. You say no one wants you alive? _**I**_ want you alive. You say everyone hates you? _**I**_ don't hate you. You say no one wants you around? _**I**_ want you around. You say that you cause everyone pain and anguish? Well guess what? _**You**_ make me happy-"

"Its not possible! You hate me! We're school enemies, arch rivals, we exist to torment the other..."

Harry refused to believe that anything Draco said was true. It wasn't possible. They hated each other didn't they? Admittedly, they had a truce... but... that wasn't because Draco _cared_ about him...surely not? It was impossible wasn't it?

Draco continues on as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"You say no one would miss you? _**I**_ would miss you."

_**sdklfj;adsfas;oijdkadfgdf DONE WITH THE CHAPTER! dfjer ;qiroh pegjnejkd gjerghpqieor**_

That's it. That's chapter...7(?) I believe.

So...yeah... I know its kinda crappy, but whatever... I was sick this week, and normally I have these chapters edited and done at least two days in advance, so I had to work over haul on this shite.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry didn't know what to do.

Draco didn't know what to do either, so he just waited and watched, trying to get ready for anything that could possibly come at him.

He watched Harry. More importantly, he watched Harry's face.

The Raven's eyes were darting around, trying to focus on something unseen, his mind racing in time with thoughts. Suddenly, he stopped and went completely still. He didn't move for over thirty seconds when he grabbed his hair and began screaming.

His fingers pressed into his skull, and he was rocking back and forth, screaming things that made no sense to Draco. He was alarmed, but he didn't know what to do. This obviously wasn't normal behavior, and he was at a complete total loss. He was frozen in his spot, and all he could do was stare.

Suddenly, Harry began to make a little bit of sense. Not enough to make sense as to what he was talking about though.

"NO! Shut up! SHUT UP! _SHUT UP!_ Its not possible. You cant. And I cant. IMPOSSIBLE! No! This doesn't make sense! YOU'RE WRONG! I'm not worthy. Never worthy. Never safe, never warm. Never supposed to feel happiness. YOU CANT! Its not... I just... no. No... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry finished the last 'no' with a blood curdling scream that would surely leave his voice hoarse later.

Draco didn't know what to do, but he rushed over to Harry and tried to comfort him.

This was obviously a mistake though, as Harry began hitting him in the chest with his fists, trying to get away alternating between screaming, talking, normally and whispering. He was crying now and Draco refused to let go. He couldn't let go. He was sure that if he did then nothing good would come of it.

So he sat there, for hours, with Harry screaming, shaking, crying, and he didn't let go.

Finally, Harry fell asleep, and Draco carried him to the bed. He laid Harry down, and went to to sit in the chair. Well, he would have, except Harry refused to let go of Draco's shirt, so Draco had to pry his hands from the blonde's shirt. Harry was having none of it though, and held on only tighter.

"Harry, you have to let me go."

"No. I don't want...but you have to stay. I can't, I just can't anymore. Please?"

Draco consented, and sat on the floor. He refused to be in the same bed as Harry if this is what was to come of it. No matter how much he wanted to crawl into the bed, he knew he couldn't. It would only end the same way it had this time, and he wasn't sure whether he or Harry could handle it.

He looked around, and grabbed his wand, and cast a quick _Tempus_ to find out what day it was, and what time it was. He grimaced when he saw that it was Monday. Roughly three or four days since anyone other than him had seen Harry. He knew everyone was worried about the Raven. He was going out there sometime and bring back Help for Harry. It simply wasn't healthy to be like this. To live like this. To be like this.

It had to end, and if Harry hated him for it well then, he would learn to live with it. He would be doing the best he could for Harry. He kept telling himself that. It almost worked until he heard Harry crying in his sleep.

He looked up and tried to figure out what was wrong.

Harry was thrashing and screaming in the bed, twisting the sheets around his legs and torso, gripping them in his hands. It was like he was trying to rip them apart. Suddenly he heard the sheets tear, and in an instant he was at Harry's side, taking the pieces of fabric from his grip, and untwisting them from his body.

Harry curled into himself, trying to banish the cold, and Draco wanted to give him back the blanket to shield the cold, but he couldn't. It might be in shreds by the time Harry woke up.

Draco sat back down, trying to do anything except stare at the shivering from of the boy on the bed. He tried to get up and get dressed. He got as far as his pants before he couldn't stand being behind a door, not in the same room as Harry. He was so worried that Harry would wake up, and Draco wouldn't be there and something would happen that he wouldn't be able to stop, and everything would just...fall apart.

He sighed, and looked at the clock that he had conjured. It had been three hours since Harry had fallen asleep, and twelve minutes since he had looked at the clock last. He couldn't do anything without fear of waking the Raven. He wasn't tired, he wasn't hungry, he wasn't... anything. He closed his eyes and continued to focus on Harry, who hadn't stopped thrashing, but he had stopped his screaming, for which Draco was very thankful.

Six hours later, Draco stood and stretched, his back cracking loudly. He looked down at Harry and sighed again. He didn't know what to do, he wasn't sure what he could do. Harry was so hell bent on killing himself, and if Draco hadn't thought ahead or woken up at all, he would have succeeded.

The thought made him shiver. He hoped that Harry never succeeded.

He realized that he had to go to the bathroom. Sitting in one place for a little over nine hours was taxing on one's spine alignment, and one's bladder. He didn't want to leave, lest harry wake up, but he couldn't hold it in any longer, else he make a puddle on the carpet. He quickly left and tried to hurry out of the bathroom as fast as he possibly could.

When he came back, he noticed that Harry had stopped moving. He had stopped whimpering. He had halted everything.

Draco walked over silently, and looked over at Harry.

His eyes were open, he wasn't moving, he was just staring listlessly staring at the ceiling without really seeing it. He turned his head, fixing Draco with the stare that was so empty it made him want to scream his frustration until Harry was screaming back. Fighting back. Anything to make his eyes shine. Even the littlest bit.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you keep saving me? Why won't you let me die? Why are you always here?"

Draco wanted to tell him that he cared. That he would miss Harry. That if he died, then so would Draco, because a life without Harry in it, wasn't much of a life at all. But he didn't. He couldn't. He had no idea how Harry would react to that, and he didn't want to find out if it was going to be as bad as the last time. Something in his heart told him that it would be worse. Much, much worse.

"Because I can."

Harry continued to look at him. He tried to figure out why Draco cared, well, he couldn't care, so he must want something right? It wouldn't be the first time someone wanted something from him.

"I have to go the the bathroom."

"So go then. I'm not stopping you."

Harry nodded and got up on the other side of the bed, facing away from Draco and walked towards the bathroom.

Draco stared after him the whole time he was in sight.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Harry opened his eyes, and sat up, looking around the room, looking for Draco. When he saw that the blonde was gone, he looked towards the bathroom door and saw the light on under the door. He looked around as saw what he was looking for.

Draco had left his wand laying on the floor beside his bed. Harry picked it up, and put it next to him on the bed. Then he laid back down and waited. He heard running water, and assumed Draco was washing his hands.

The door opened two seconds after the water shut off. Draco didn't bother turning off the light. He walked over to check on Harry, and found that he was awake. They talked, and after a second, Harry informed him that he had to go to the bathroom.

He turned over, and hid the wand inside the towel wrapped around his waist, and walked over to the bathroom.

He could feel Draco's eyes burning holes into the back of his head the entire way there.

As soon as Harry shut the door, he cast a Silencing Charm and a Locking Charm. It would do to have Draco hear what was going on, or be able to get in for that matter. He wasn't even going to have enough time, if he didn't hurry. He double checked the Silencing Charm and fortified it. He turned around, and counted in his head, counting down until he had to leave.

He turned towards the mirror, and shot a curse at it angrily.

Draco was a liar! He couldn't... wouldn't miss harry when he was gone. No one was going ot miss him, because no one cared anymore. All those things Draco said about caring, and missing him was a bunch of bullshit. He was so tired. Tired of liars, fakers, everything.

He just wanted it to stop. All of it to stop, to go away, to leave him alone. Why couldn't Draco understand that? Why did he have to keep saving his life when Harry didn't want it to be saved? Why put forth so much effort when he hated Harry?

Unless...

No.

It's not possible. Draco couldn't love him. No one did. That was why they left, why they wanted him gone. His parents didn't love him. And they were gone. Remus, Siruis, Tonks, Fred, Dumbledore, everyone. They were all dead and gone and they didn't love him. They couldn't have. His aunt and uncle were right.

No one could love a freak like him. He intruded on people's lives, made them more complicated than they already were. He shouldn't be alive. It would solve everyone's problems about him. So, he would die, and everyone would be happy, and he would be _free._

Free from the hatred. Free from the fake smiles, the lies, everything. It wouldn't matter anymore, because _he_ didn't matter anymore.

The mirror shattered into a hundred pieces, flying in his direction. He didn't cast a Shield Charm to try to block them, instead relishing the feeling of glass cutting him, slicing him open, and even lodging into his skin. He smiled to himself when he saw the tiny rivulets of blood dripping down his chest, face and arms.

He sat down and grabbed one of the shards that hadn't pierced his skin, and tested how sharp it was.

It was sharp enough, and he quickly dragged it not only across his arms, but his chest, legs, stomach, everywhere in reach that he could see. By the time he was done, he was riddles with cuts, too many to count. Some of them deep, some shallow, but all of them were bleeding. Harry laid down, and smiled. His vision was getting hazy, his breathing was shallow, and his vision was getting dark.

Before everything went dark, he giggled and said, "Thank You Draco. For being so careless."

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Draco sat down and waited for Harry to come back out.

He looked around the room, which seemed much colder to him now that Harry wasn't in it anymore. He decided to cast a Warming Charm. He reached down to where he thought he left his wand and noticed that it wasn't there anymore.

He looked everywhere, even under the bed, and couldn't find it. Slowly it dawned on him.

Harry had his wand.

"Fuck."

_**kjnljkfnasjfknasdf jfnh ;wejfnhwejfnjhsfaiushf aewjfnaDONE MOTHER FUCKERS!sdfjhaf;jk ga;jegn;erjgnqeiuroghqerioogn jng ;uerhgqpeiorg jhqurhgqiewfnadnf uhfqpiewf**_

Hello there!

Sorry if this pisses anyone off, but I will not be posting next week. I am taking a vacation for myself, and therefore, I will not be posting anything. I'm not going anywhere, I just need a break.

I will be back the week after next, and will resume posting.

Sorry in advance, but I need a break guys.

Love and Masochism,

Lilith G. Astroll


	9. Chapter 9

Draco flew at the wall, round housing it trying to break it. He knew that Harry would have magically locked the door, but he wouldn't have the knowledge to place wards preventing Draco from breaking it the muggle way, and that was how the blonde intended to open it.

Harry was loosing blood as he was thinking logically, and he couldn't have that. He knew that panicking wouldn't solve a god damn thing, so he detached himself from the situation, hoping to be able to think about this without freaking out and screwing up.

His father always told him that panicking would do him no good, and that if he lost his cool he was sure to lose control of the situation and make a careless mistake, which lead to his death. It had been ingrained into his mind since he was ten years old, and he wasn't going to forget it now. Harry needed him, whether he knew it or not, and he was not going to fail. It wasn't an option.

The door didn't break. He kicked it again and again and again, but still it didn't break. It was too thick for him to break by himself. He stopped to catch his breath, re analyzing the situation again.

Harry was locked in the bathroom by magical means.

He had Draco's wand.

He was suicidal.

There was a mirror in there made of glass.

He was as good as dead if Draco couldn't get to him in time.

Draco took a deep breath, and instead, round housed to door knob, which let out a loud breaking noise. The door knob went limp against the door. Draco tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge enough for him to get through. He kicked it again. This time the door knob cam completely off, landing on the floor somewhere on the floor.

He looked towards the door and noticed the hole through which he could see into the bathroom. He pushed the door open, and what he saw almost made him chuck.

Harry was laying there, bleeding from everywhere on his body. There were cuts on his arms legs and stomach. Thankfully he had a towel on, which saved him from at least a little bit of damage. He didn't look like he was breathing, which worried Draco. He looked around and saw his wand in Harry's hand.

Knowing that he didn't have a lot of time he pointed his wand at Harry and said, _"P__erficio Stabilitas!"_

Harry went completely still, not that it was a drastic change from how he was before, but it was a change none the less. It let Draco know that Harry was alive, and had a chance at being saved.

He Levitated Harry's body carefully, and quickly walked out the door and towards the door that let them out of the Room. He stopped short and thought. Someone was bound to notice the Golden Boy levitating and looking like he was dead an covered in blood, so he cast several Notice-Me-Not spells and continued on his way, a little faster than before.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Ron and Hermione were panicking.

They hadn't seen Harry since he had disappeared on them after the incident in the Great Hall, and that was a little over two days ago. Someone could have done something to him, or taken him, and they would never have noticed. It seemed entirely likely since they hadn't captured all of the Death Eaters and any one of them could have and it wouldn't have been hard. They were all occupied with tending to their families, and seeing who was still alive and who wasn't.

Currently, Hermione helped out with the Mme. Pomfrey.

The Hospital Wing was swamped with injured people, and it took Hermione, Luna, to help her with all of the patients. They treated the ones whose injuries were a lot more serious and the rest of them after.

Most of the less serious injuries were mostly broken bones, scrapes, cuts, and burns, which, Luna, and Hermione healed rather quickly. The rest of them, the ones who were under the effects of potions, curses, and other things they left to Mme. Pomfrey. They weren't skilled enough to help with them.

Surprisingly, Blaise came to help after he recovered from this stay in the Hospital Wing. He, and the rest of them, were pretty thankful that he was there to help, even if was only by a little bit.

He helped them wordlessly, not even complaining about Hermione or Luna being too stupid or some such nonsense. He always went to work as soon as possible, brewing to the best of his abilities if asked to make a potion, and brewing multiple potions at once. Sometimes between three or four at a time.

Hermione smiled at him as much as she could, trying to let him know who much she appreciated how much he was doing for their more...unstable patients. When he caught her smiling at him, he always gave her a small nod to let her know he saw it, and went back to his work.

Ron was actually helping with the restoration of rooms. He was helping with which parts of the castle needed to be repaired and which could wait for later. Him and his team tackled the outside walls first and moved on from there. They didn't touch the wards though, McGonagall was going to handle those. Wards were a tricky and temperamental thing. If they were set in place wrong they could backfire and not even the best Ward Setter could fix the damage done by faulty Wards.

He was currently directing where to put some blocks of the inner castle walls when Hermione came running up to him. He wondered what was wrong. Something to do with someone they knew in the Hospital Wing had taken a turn for the worst maybe? He hoped wrong.

"Mione, whats wrong?"

"Ron! I just realized that we hadn't seen Harry in almost three days. I knew he had went to the Gryffindor Common Room to rest after the war, but he came down later. And then he disappeared, and when I went to go check the Common Room, he wasn't there!"

"Woah, slow down Mione, he's probably just resting somewhere he wont be bugged."

"Where though? I'm getting worried? What if Death Eaters got him?"

"Room of Requirement perhaps? He was always going there when he had to time. Check there first."

"Fine."

Ron Sighed.

"Look, I know you're worried, and I am too, but Harry is more than able to take care of himself."

"Come look with me please?"

"Fine, just let me finish up here really quick and I'll meet you in the Hospital Wing, now off with you, someone poor guy is in need of your skills."

He gave her a cheeky grin and walked off, calling to his team on the way.

She sighed once more and headed off back to the Wing which probably needed some help anyway.

When she got there, everyone was in a frenzy.

People were running around trying to make space for someone.

Draco Malfoy sat in a corner sobbing with Blaise and Luna trying to calm him down.

"Whats wrong?" Hermione asked as she walked over to where they were.

Draco looked up at her. He was crying and she almost didn't catch what he said. It was full of hiccups and crying and everything that it was almost too much.

"Harry...he tried to... c-c-commit s-s-suicide... an-and I was t-t-too l-late!"

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Hello, I know this chapter was really short, and I left you with a cliffy, I honestly didn't mean to, well, yes I did, but you know.

I have already started on Chapter 10, and I have the beginning done, but you'll have to wait for next Friday!

I might be posting a new story, but I want to get one of the three done first...

Anywho, Love with toast and Jam,

Lilith G. Astroll


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She couldn't _breathe._

Everything was moving slowly around her. Suddenly in a rush of senses everything came back to her in an instant. He swallowed and walked towards Draco and glared at him. She didn't believe for one second that Harry would try to commit suicide. The blonde must have a part in it. He just had to!

She thought about it an he hadn't been seen in the last two or three days. Same as Harry. She remembered seeing him leave the Great Hall after Harry on the second day. She didn't remember seeing him after that. If she had she would have remembered.

She tried to tell herself that Malfoy wasn't that stupid, but her mind wasn't connecting. She knew that he had to have a part in this. After all the the blonde had hated her, Ron and Harry for the past seven years, and a few days weren't going to change that.

She got in his face and screamed at him, "What did you do to him!"

For some reason this only made Draco cry harder, and she stepped back astounded.

Why the hell was he crying? What ties – other than being enemies – did she hold with her best friend? She had a feeling that she didn't want to know the answers to those questions just yet.

"Granger!" Blaise yelled grabbing her attention. "Get your skinny white ass over here and start helping! Your best friend is going to die if you don't do something to help. You can interrogate Draco later, but right now, we need you."

She glared at Blaise and nodded. The Italian boy was right, She couldn't fall apart now, her best friend needed her, and she wasn't going to let him down. After she and Mme. Pomfrey saved him, Harry could tell them what Draco did to him, and the blonde would be carted away, sent to Azkaban for the rest of his life. It made her feel slightly better and less like she was going to implode.

After shaking her head to clear it, she grabbed a hair tie and put her hair up in a pony tail, and walked over to Mme. Pomfrey asking what she could do to help.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Draco stared at everything in a horrified blur. His head was pounding and he tried to focus on something other than Harry dying.

He had thrown three times in the past six hours. He was shaking horribly, he was cold, and he refused to sleep. He tried to think of something other than the dark haired boy who could quite possibly die, but he was failing miserably. Several times the people helping Harry had tried to get him to leave the Hospital Wing, but he always refused saying that Harry needed him.

When Ron had shown up, he had shown a lot of maturity. He hadn't tried to hex or physically hurt Draco. Much to everyone's surprise he even went so far as to comfort Draco. In his own way of course. He sat down next to the blonde and had given him a look and then went silent, waiting for any word on Harry's condition. They had sat like that for hours, not speaking, not moving, just being...there.

It was all they could do.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

_Harry sat in a field, looking at everything. There were people there, milling around, fighting, laying on the floor, or sitting completely still. It unnerved him and intrigued him all the same. He was pretty sure he was dead, but he didn't know what was going on. The last time he was dead, he was in King's Cross station, but he was no where near that location now._

_He stood up from the rock he was sitting on and walked around, looking at everyone. They were doing some strange things, but he never lingered longer to see what was going to happen. There was something strange about these people, and not just what they were doing._

_The strangest thing would have to be that they were all completely silent. Even though some of the people were talking to each other, no sound would come out._

_But maybe even stranger than that, was that no one noticed him interrupting them. Well, it would have been interrupting them if they had noticed him. He was either being ignored, or they really couldn't see him._

_He proved his theory of them not being able to see him when he poked several people in the face in a very annoying fashion._

_He kept walking around and soon came to someone he recognized._

_It was Cedric Diggory. Harry ran towards him and tried to get Cedric to notice him._

_It didn't work, but that only made him work harder. He tried everything he could possibly do to try and get the boy's attention, but nothing seemed to work. He jumped up and down in front of him, waved his hands in his face, smacked him, kicked him, and even kicked him in the groin, but nothing worked._

_Finally he screamed in frustration and started to walk off. He didn't get two steps before someone grabbed his shoulder. He whirled around and was about to smack whoever it was that touched him, but he stopped cold._

_Cedric finally noticed him, and he did not look happy._

"_Harry, what are you doing here?"_

"_I – I don't know. The last thing I remember is the mirror and the bathroom, and then I found myself here on the rock over there," He said pointing._

_Cedric turned to look at the rock and sighed._

"_You aren't supposed to be here yet. What happened to the mirror in the bathroom?"_

"_I cursed it, and the glass went everywhere and my wrists were bleeding and then everything went dark and cold. That's all I remember."_

_Glaring at Harry, Cedric dragged the shorter boy over to the rock he was sitting on when he got there, and forced him to sit on it._

"_Go. Back. NOW!"_

"_I can't go back!"_

"_Why the hell not?"_

"_Because I'M DEAD!"_

"_No. You're not. You cant be dead."_

_Harry looked at him and said, "Cedric, I am dead. You need to get used to it."_

_Cedric glared at Harry and started to drag him somewhere away from the rock towards something Harry couldn't see yet. He looked around at the people and noticed that they still didn't look at him or notice him at all._

"_Cedric, why don't the people here seem to see me?"_

"_Because, you aren't dead."_

"_But you see me so that must mean I am dead. Right?"_

"_You probably tried to get my attention didn't you?"_

"_Yes, and then I gave up."_

"_Exactly. Now, why are you here." He asked. They finally stopped at a small clearing where there weren't many people around._

"_Because I don't deserve to live."_

"_Liar. What did you do to get here. And if you lie to me I'll know."_

"_I – I committed suicide," he said in a whisper. He knew Cedric was going to be mad at him, but at the moment her didn't really care. He just wanted to be left alone and for him to not have to go back._

"_Why?"_

_Harry looked up at Cedric and then back down. He was ashamed and dint want to tell him, but he knew that if he didn't then something horrible would happen._

"_Because...because I'm the reason that a lot of people are dead. If I hadn't been born then none of them would be dead. They would still be with their families and none of this would have happened. I don't deserve to live. With all of the blood on my hands, I really don't deserve it."_

_Harry flicked his eyes up and saw Cedric's angry face. He flicked his eyes down once more, and was unpleasantly surprised when Cedric's palm connected with his face._

_He looked up startled, and instantly regretted it._

_Cedric glared at him for a few minutes, making Harry uncomfortable enough to fidget._

"_You are wrong Harry. So wrong. Those people he killed? They would be dead anyway whether or not you were alive. No one blames you for their death, because they knew what they were getting into when they fought for the war. They knew that there was a good chance they they were going to be killed and they fought anyway. You didn't personally kill them. Or torture them. Or make them fight for you. They did it all on their own and if they died, well, than its their fault then isn't it? Now, I am going to tell you this one more time. Get your scrawny ass back up there or so help me god I will take you there myself."_

_Harry nodded meekly and started to walk back to his rock. He didn't know how to get back home, but somehow he knew that the rock was the key. He also knew that when he got back, he was going to be in a world of hurt from his injuries, but suddenly, that didn't seem so bad anymore._

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Draco sat there waiting for news, any news. Weasley was next to him, offering him silent comfort just by being there. They came to a silent agreement a few hours ago. They would sit there and be quiet, just assuring each other that they ere there.

After a few more hours of waiting, Hermione came around the curtain and called Draco and Ron back there. Whether it was god news or not they didn't know. But at least they were getting news right?

As soon as they stepped beyond the curtain, Hermione said, "He's stable right now, but it's touch and go for a while longer until he wakes up."

"So he's going to be okay?"

"As far as we know, yes. But don't get your hopes up yet, we have along way to go until he'll be okay to leave, or awake for that matter."

"He's fine," Draco said faintly before he collapsed on the floor in a dead faint.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

And that was chapter 10. You may be wondering why I did the Cedric thing, but I cant tell you that right now. Right now I have to go to bed.

Adios!

Love, Toast and Jam,

Lilith G. Astroll


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione watched as Draco fainted. What the hell had happened between her best friend and the blonde, and why wasn't Ron being, well Ron. Usually Draco and Ron were at each others throats, insulting each other and fighting, but this time, they had nothing to say. Either they had decided that it wasn't worth it, or they had come to some...understanding. It sure as hell wasn't because they were in the Hospital Wing, Merlin knows they've fought in there before.

She looked down at the blonde slumped into a heap on the floor, and sighed.

"Ron, would you please put him in a bed? I know you don't like him, but please, be gentle."

Ron nodded and picked Draco up, slightly surprised by how much he _didn't_ weigh. He was almost as light as Harry, and that worried him slightly. Why wasn't the blonde eating enough? Surely his parents wouldn't let him starve...

He gently set Draco down on a bed and pulled the blankets over him before going back to Hermione to see how she was doing.

It was going to be another long day he assumed. They had finally gotten Harry stable and were attempting to take out the shards of glass imbedded in his skin, and the layers underneath that. At one point he could clearly remember asking Hermione why they didn't just _Accio_ the pieces. She kindly explained that _Accio-ing_ them would have them come directly out of his skin, and even the ones underneath it. It would have them ripped through and out of the skin, causing more harm than good. It might even send Harry over to the edge of unstable again, and they certainly didn't want that.

They worked quickly, carefully, quietly making sure the glass shards imbedded in Harry's top layer of skin were out and put into containers to make sure no one would accidentally hurt themselves.

Ron, who couldn't stand the sight of what the three of them were doing, and had gotten sick twice, was in charge of fresh towels and water. He gladly accepted his job. He wanted no part of digging things out of his best friend's flesh, and it was going to stay that way.

Luna was helping other patients, the ones with less severe cases, and helping out in any way she could. Most of the time it was helping mend broken bones, which could be fixed with a quick _'Episkey'_ and then people would be on their way. There weren't that many people who came in though. Most of the bad cases were already healed or on the mend, and only needed their daily dose of potion to set them right.

Blaise was helping with getting the glass out of Harry along with Hermione. He didn't say mean things, he didn't make fun of her, he helped quietly, only speaking to ask for a towel or some water.

The three of them worked for hours on end, until they got all of the skin – level glass out. After that they took a break while Madam Pomfrey figured out how they were going to get the other ones out.

Hermione walked over to Ron, who was sitting at Draco's bed. He was staring at the blonde, who was still unconscious. His face was relaxed, with just the barest hint of tension.

"Ron, why did he do it?"

"He didn't Mione."

She gave him an incredulous look and said, "What do you mean he didn't do it? Of course he did it. Who else would have?"

"Did you see Malfoy's face when he brought Harry in here? Did you see him when you were trying to stabilize Harry? Mione, he was _terrified._ He was worried about Harry. If he did it, he probably wouldn't have even brought Harry up here, let alone stayed."

"But Ron, he – he's Malfoy. He had to have done it!"

"I didn't do it Granger."

Both the red head and the the bushy haired girl jumped at the hoarse voice. It seemed that Draco was alright, well, better than before at least.

"Forgive me if I don't believe you Malfoy." Hermione said sarcastically.

"Granger, at this moment in time I really could care less about you. What I want to know, is how is harry?"

"Why do you care?"

"I brought him here, I think I deserve to know how he is."

"He's fine Malfoy," Ron said. "They got the top layer of glass out, he's stabilized, and that's as much as I can tell you."

"Thank you Weasley. Why not liquify the glass, and bring it out through his mouth? It would be safe, not rip through his organs, and relatively easy."

Hermione gave him a look, but it wasn't a bad one. It was a thoughtful one.

"Malfoy, when Harry wakes up, you are going to tell me where you two have been for the past three or four days."

Draco nodded, opting to say nothing.

"Yeah mate, she scares me too," Ron said before patting Draco on the back and going to get more towels and to change out the bloodied cold water for fresh warm water.

Draco just stared after Ron, who probably didn't realize what he had said to the blonde, which was surprising to say the least. No one had called him 'mate' before, and it was weird to have Weasley to be the first one. Draco shrugged it off. Obviously the ginger haired boy didn't realize what he had said.

The blonde turned on his side and tried to get back to sleep, he knew he probably wouldn't be any help around here.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Hermione was not a happy camper. In fact, she was a pissed off camper.

After she left Draco, she told Madam Pomfrey what Draco said, and was extremely surprised to find out that it could work. All they needed was a spell that would liquify the glass, and they would be set. That's where Hermione came in. She was going to research it, and it irked her.

Why the hell did it have to be Malfoy's plan. Why couldn't it be something else? Not that it wasn't a good plan, it was just...Malfoy's plan. If it had been anyone else than she probably wouldn't have minded. She probably would haven even congratulated them.

She sighed and then smacked her forehead.

She was sitting there, hating Malfoy when she should have been looking up the spell to save her best friend's life. It seemed foolish a selfish of her. She walked towards the doors and gave Ron a hug before leaving the hospital wing all together and heading towards the Library. It was the only place she was going to get the answers that she needed.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Ron stared after his friend as she left, and then went to get more towels to help clean the area around Harry up. The floor was covered in blood spots, and he was going to clean them up. Not because he had to, but because he couldn't stand to see the sight of Harry's blood.

He looked fondly at Harry while the boy lied there, motionless, and smoothed his hair back from his forehead before getting on his knees to scrub the floor. It took his mind off things and for some reason soothed him. There was something calming about doing something muggle way...

He didn't notice it, but Draco had gotten up and walked over to where Ron was kneeling on the floor. The blonde sat down next to him and waited until he was done cleaning before trying to speak to him, which was a long time.

"Weasley, why did you...why did you call me 'mate' earlier today?"

Ron, who had not been expecting that question sat back and thought a while before answering.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

I am the master of CliffHangers am I not? Well, anywho, I know this is extremely short, and I promise the next on evil be longer, but I've been swamped with preparing for school. Which I go back to in...roughly two and a half weeks, and I havent even gotten my shtuff ready to go...

Anyway This was chapter 11, and you know yadda yadda yadda, Questions and such...

Love, Toast, and Jam,

Lilith G. Astroll


	12. Chapter 12

Ron shook his head and nearly laughed at the expression on the blonde's face. It was one of confusion, and maybe...hope? He thought back to their previous conversation, and he had indeed called Draco 'mate'. He sighed and sat down on the blonde's bed, feeling like what his parents must have felt like when they were reassuring him about some insecurity he had at the time.

"Malfoy, you saved Harry, even when you didn't have to. I might not be as smart as Hermione, but I do know that if you saved Harry, you must not be all bad. I know Hermione thinks otherwise, but I'm absolutely certain that you didn't have anything to do with why Harry was brought here. And for that, I will call you one of my mates until you prove me wrong."

Draco nodded and smiled at Ron.

"It's Draco. My name is Draco."

"And my name is Ron. Nice to meet you."

Draco laughed and shook the hand that Ron had offered him. They sat there in silence until Hermione called for a towel and some water. Ron got up and saluted Draco before smiling and leaving to go get fresh towels.

For his part, Draco stayed in bed mulling over what Ron had said.

How could the ginger haired boy place so much trust in someone who had made his life a living hell? How could he not hate Draco for everything he had done? Hermione seemed just fine in hating him still. He wondered how Ron had so much blind faith in people. It astounded him really.

He looked around, and saw a girl, maybe sixth year, coughing her lungs out. He looked around again, and saw that no one was getting up to help her. They were all focused on helping Harry not die.

Making up his mind, he got up and walked over to the girl and asked her what her name was and what she needed.

"Kristine George. I need a coughing and headache potion please."

Draco nodded and walked over to the potions cabinet and took the potions he needed for the girl, Kristine, and got them to her as quickly as possible. He handed them to her and watched as she downed them, one after the other, and smiled lightly when her coughing subsided.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The girl laid back down and went to sleep, leaving Draco to stare at her for a minute, before looking for some other person to help.

The entire time he helped the people, Hermione watched him, a calculating look in her eyes.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Six and a half hours later, Harry was finally stable enough to be left alone for the night, with only being checked on every few hours.

Hermione was tired, worn out, and completely exhausted from working all day. She felt bad for not helping the other people, but Harry was in the most critical condition out of everyone and therefore he was priority number one.

She was – pleasantly – surprised to find Draco helping out the other people, even when she knew he didn't have to. He seemed to get the hand of things pretty quickly, and was soon working his way into a routine of the people he needed to take care of and the ones who were almost fully healed.

She couldn't help it, and after he went to sleep, she checked on every patient, to make sure he did everything right.

"Granger. What are you doing?"

She was so surprised, that she dropped the clipboard that she had picked up from the end of the bed.

"Malfoy, I thought you were asleep."

"Well, I'm not. And you should be, but right now, I would like to know why you are double checking my patients."

"I just wanted to make sure that you –"

"Didn't curse them?"

"No. I wanted to make sure you didn't get anything wrong, and that everything was okay."

"Granger, I know what I was doing. All I did was administer Potions to them, and only the ones that were on the charts at the end of the beds. So, stop worrying and go to bed. You're tired and you need to sleep."

She was too stunned to say anything other than, "Goodnight," and then left to go to sleep.

Ron followed her out after waving to the blonde.

As soon as they were out of the doors, Draco was up out of his bed, and sitting in the chair next to Harry's in the next second. He was staring at the boy, and hoping to god he didn't die. He wiped his face making his tears smear across his face, but he didn't care at the moment. For now Harry was relatively safe, and stable, and he was okay with that.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Hermione couldn't sleep. God knew she was tired, and should have been out an hour and a half ago, but for some reason she couldn't sleep. She supposed it was Draco, and the fact that he was there alone, with Harry, not to mention the other injured people, and that worried her.

She turned on her side, and faced towards Ron's bed.

"Ron. Are you sleeping?"

"Yes. Now go back to bed."

"I'm being serious here Ron."

Ron sat up and looked at her.

"Fine. I'm up. Now what do you want to talk about?"

"How do you know he didn't do it? How do you know he wasn't the one who cursed Harry?"

Sighing, Ron got up and sat on her bed and crossed his legs and leaned back against the wall.

"Hermione, why would he try to kill Harry, if he was just going to bring him to the Hospital Wing to try and save him. Did you see him when Harry was brought in? Did you see his face? He was devastated. I know, because I sat with him, every hour, every minute, every second. He was worried, and not because you think he might get caught because you think he tried to kill our best friend."

But –"

"No Hermione. Draco, he's... he's a good guy, and he cares for Harry. Just...leave him be."

"Ron, I can't leave him be. He's made our lives hell since first year. He's the bane of Harry's existence. I can't and I won't let him be."

" 'Mione, just leave him alone. You can question him tomorrow, next week, next year, but for now, just leave him alone."

Hermione sighed and flopped back down on the bed. Something didn't sit right with her about the Slytherin. She just... couldn't get passed the fact that he was the one who made her life hell for the past seven or eight years. Just because the blonde saved Harry, didn't immediately eradicate what he had done during her school years.

Ron patted her thigh, and got up, moving towards his own bed to try and get some sleep. Tomorrow, he was going back to the Hospital Wing to check on Draco and Harry, and then he was going back outside to help repair the Castle.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Ello, I know this is SUPER late, and super short, but Nicki is over, and I cant find enough time to work on my stuff, and I don't want to not give you guys chapters. Things will probably be back on track mid to late next week.

Also, I have DELETED _**Swimming In Red.**_ I might edit it, make it better, re-write it, whatever and re post it, but I'm not sure yet. For those of you who have read it, I apologize for how bad it was. For those who haven't, I have saved you a few hours of stupidity, s, bad lemons, and cracktastic idiocracy.

You know the drill. Questions, comments, yadda yadda yadda,

Love, Toast, and Jam,

Lilith G. Astroll


	13. Chapter 13

_Harry had been sitting on the same rock for the longest time, and he wanted to leave, but he didn't know how. Why wasn't he leaving? He should have been long gone by now, back to the world of the living once more, back to his friends, and the people who cared about him, and back to Draco._

_Getting fed up, he got off the rock and went to look for Cedric once again, but the boy was no where to be found. It was like he had disappeared off the face of the...well, not earth, but plane of dead people? Yeah, that seemed to fit. Plane of dead people. Had a nice ring to it actually._

_Just like last time, he couldn't get the attention of anyone, and it was starting to annoy him. He kept walking around, looking for someone he recognized, but the search wasn't doing him any good._

_He walked around a perpetually arguing couple, and saw someone he thought he would never see again._

_Severus Snape was brooding on the ground. Harry laughed as he looked at the picture Severus presented. He looked a lot like a petulant child who didn't want to eat their vegetables or take a nap. He smiled, but then he scowled. What the hell was Snape doing here anyway?_

_He walked up to the man and crouched down, hopefully the idiot could hear and see him. He got right up into Severus' face and looked at him without blinking._

"_Mr. Potter, what the hell are you doing?"_

_Harry screamed and fell back in surprise. This made Severus laugh, and when Harry got himself righted, he laughed too._

"_Well, Professor, I am apparently dead or something. Well, Cedric said I'm not, but he was dead, and he's here, and you're dead and you're here, so why can't I be dead since I'm here?"_

"_You aren't dead you dolt. If you were dead you wouldn't be here. Nor would you be shimmery."_

"_Are you telling me I sparkle?" (AN: I couldn't resist. ^-^)_

_Severus sighed and smacked his hand on his forehead._

"_No. You shimmer. It's kind of like a code here or something. I don't know. All I know is that you aren't dead, and I'm here to help you."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well, apparently when I died I still had to help you with something, and since I'm dead, I obviously couldn't help. Which is probably why I'm here. So, what did yo do this time?"_

_Harry looked away, ashamed of what he did. He wished he hadn't done it. Since Cedric had talked to him three days ago, he had...changed, for what he hoped was the better._

_Nothing like getting sense knocked into you by a dead guy._

_Snape sighed and put his head on his fist._

"_Alright, what the hell did you do?"_

"_What do you mean what the hell did I do?"_

"_I mean, what the hell did you do, to get sent here. Come on Potter, either you tell me or you don't leave."_

_Harry groaned, and kicked the ground, digging the toe of his shoe into the dirt. He had learned in the past few days that he really didn't want to die. He was aching to get back to his friends, his make-shift family, and surprisingly Draco. He wasn't back to 'normal' by any means, no, far from it._

_It would take a lot of time and effort – and a lot of counseling – to get past everything, but he would work on it._

_If he ever left this blasted place that is._

"_I – tried to – tried to kill myself."_

_Instead of getting yelled at like he thought he would, Severus got up and smacked him upside the head. To say he was surprised, would be an understatement. He had expected something – anything – but getting hit was not it._

_He looked incredulously up at the black haired man, and gaped._

"_Close your mouth Potter."_

"_Sir, Why did you hit me?"_

"_Because you are a stupid little boy who needs to get some sense knocked into him. And if it needs to be done my literally, then so be it. Potter, I did _not_ give up my life and show you those memories so that you could die a few days later, and by your own hand at that."_

"_But –"_

"_No Potter, I don't care what your reasons were. They were stupid, childish, and as far as I'm concerned, the stupidest thing you have done since I've met you."_

"_But Sir –"_

"_This is where I inform you, that I really don't care to know Potter. If this is some bullshite about your insufferable hero complex, or that blasted guilt trip you seem to enjoy putting yourself through, I am going to tell you to get a god damned grip. Those people knew what they were doing, and they did it anyway. So, unless you held the blade to their throats, the wand to their chests, or whatever other method, then it's not your fault. So shut up, suck it up, and get back to the living so you can continue to live."_

"_Sir, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."_

_Severus just smacked him upside the head again, and gave him a quick hug before turning him around and pushing him back in the direction of his special rock._

_Harry turned back once more and said, "Thank you Sir," as he watched his old Potions Teacher shimmer brightly, and then fade away. He let himself cry a little, before turning and heading back to his rock, to see if he could actually get back home._

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

Draco sighed and tried not to let himself sleep.

He had been sitting with Harry in between making his rounds after he had been worked on that day. He was tired, slightly cranky, and wanted to sleep so bad, but he didn't. He had a 'feeling' that something good was going to happen today, and he wanted to be awake for it.

He looked at Harry's face, which was almost completely back to normal. He would have a few small scars around his jaw and on his throat, but that was to be expected. He was still Harry, and that was all that matter. Draco just hoped that when – not if – Harry woke up, he wouldn't be mad at the blonde for saving his life. Draco chuckled and realized that this would be the second or third time he had saved the shorter boy's life. His smile fell as he remember why he had to save it in the first place.

Draco dropped his head on the edge of Harry's bed and let out a tired groan. Why couldn't whatever was going to happen today happen already? He just wanted to sleep.

He grabbed Harry's hand and squeezed it. He wasn't surprised to feel it squeeze back – it had been doing that all day. Madam Pomfrey said it was a good sign though, and it made him believe that Harry wasn't going to die.

He looked up at Harry, and noticed that if you didn't know what had happened, then you would probably believe that he was just sleeping.

He placed his head on the edge of the bed once more, and let his eyes drift closed. H was startled when he heard someone call his name.

"Draco."

That voice made his head shoot up. He knew that voice. He missed that voice. He loved that voice. He wished so bad to hear it during the past three days, that he half believed that it wasn't real.

"Harry?"

_**WHAT THE FUCK!**_

HOLA!

Sorry this is a day late. I wasn't home at all yesterday, and I just got back this morning, but I have an announcement for you guys, and you aren't going to like it.

Alright little ones, I KNOW you're going to be pissed off at me, but...

Starting Monday AUGUST 23 2010, I will be going on HAITUS for the next two weeks. School started next week, and you know how the first two weeks are, well, at my school anyway.

So, I will post the next chapter of Faolin Elves on MONDAY SEPTEMBER 6th 2010.

I am really really sorry about this, but I cant really do anything about it. The first week is going to be hell, because there hasn't been a year where I havent gotten lost In my school. We just got a new section of the building added on and half my classes are in that section, and its going to be friggen weird as shit.

The second week is going to be hell on the homework front. I have to get back into my school schedule, for homework and sleeping too, and I'm going to be swamped, because the second week is where they learn about you and how much homework you can handle. Who works well with who, yadda yadda yadda...

Anywho,

Kill me all you want, but Cuts is the last thing I'll be posting until the 6th of next month.

I'll be posting this on my other stories later on today.

Thank you for being so patient,

Lilith G. Astroll


	14. Chapter 14

"Harry?"

Draco picked his head up, and stared at Harry. The boy's eyes were luttering open and he sounded like he knew where he was. Instead of hugging him and never letting him go, the blonde called for Mme. Pomfrey, who rushed right out and started checking Harry's vitals and such while Draco stood back, thanking the God he didn't believe in for letting Harry live.

"Mr Potter, You gave us a huge scare. What on earth were you thinking."

"I wish I could say I knew, but I don't."

"Well, you're a teenager."

"I know, and right now...right now I'm glad for it."

"Hmm...well, be sure to thank Mr. Malfoy here. He's the one who brought you in. If not for him, you would not be here. Stayed with you for three days straight, barely eating and only sleeping when he had to."

Harry smiled and gave Draco a nod, signaling that they were going to talk later, and let Mme. Pomfrey go about her business. She gave him three potions, two of which were nutrition potions, and one a strengthening potion. She gave him a final once over, and sighed.

"You know, if you wanted a final trip in your bed, you could have found another way to do it."

Harry smiled and said, "I know Madame Pomfrey, I know."

She nodded at him and turned to Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy. Thank you for all of your help today. If you ever decided to become a Healer, let me know."

"Will do ma'am."

She nodded and turned to her office, and walking in. She gave them a fond smile before closing the door, leaving them to their business.

To say it was awkward was an understatement. Harry didn't know what to say, but he had a feeling that no matter what he said, it was going to be awkward anyway.

"Draco..."

"Harry! Oh Gods we thought you were going to die!"

Draco walked quickly over to Harry and fiercely hugged him.

Harry sat there and didn't know what to say, so he opted to say nothing. He hugged Draco back with the same ferocity he was being hugged.

"Harry, please promise me you won't ever do that again."

"I...I can't promise that Draco. I know you want me to, and I would like to, but I can't."

The blonde said nothing and hugged him harder,

"I missed you. So much Harry. So _so_ much."

"I – I'm sorry. I don't know what to say other than that."

"It's fine. Completely irrevocably irreversibly fine."

"I see you're vocabulary hasn't diminished."

"Mmmmhmmm. Not at all. Missed you so much."

Harry sighed and pulled Draco all the way up on the bed. The blonde settled on the bed, wrapping his arms around Harry, who tried to get as close to the blonde as possible. HE buried his face in Draco's neck and entangled their legs trying to get as comfortable as possible.

"You know Harry, Granger is going to come in for her shift in a few hours."

"Mmmm not caring."

"Hmm. I thought not. Strangely, Ronald and I have come to and … amicable terms. Surprisingly, it's Granger who still has a grudge against me. But that is no matter. It's not like we'll ever become the best of friends anyway."

Harry's eyes snapped open, and he brought Draco's face down to his.

"Did you just call my best friend by his given name?"

"Yes? When I – when I brought you here, he believed me that I didn't do it. He sat with me for hours, not saying anything. But he was there. The entire time. He was there, and Granger... well, you know her. She never liked me. Not one bit. She's hell bent on proving that I did it."

"But you didn't"

"That's not going to stop her. You've known her for almost eight years now. When has she stopped in the middle of you and your friend's … escapades?"

"Never. Well, in second year she did, but that was because she was petrified. But she solved it anyway."

"Well, that's Granger for you."

Harry 'Hmm-ed' and brought Draco's face closer and kissed him lightly.

"Go to bed. I wanna sleep."

"Yes mum."

"Shut it."

Draco smiled, and tucked Harry's head under his chin, and drifted off.

_**Jdnfajkd faewifweifj dfjsnd fajfhieof heif dsfjnsd;jfn ewifj;dfia fifue fjdfnh Dfiewfhewifohe wfefieiii**_

Hermione looked at the clock on her bedside, and saw that it was close to noon already. She gasped, and shot up out of bed, gathering her clothing and hurrying to the bathroom.

The other people in the room paid her no mind and went about sleeping, ignoring her rush around the room, knocking things over, pushing things away, and finally, the slam of the door as she rushed to get clean and back to the Hospital Wing.

She rushed through her shower, hoping to get there as soon as possible.

She rushed through the doors and stopped in her tracks.

Malfoy, that blonde poncey git was in bed with Harry.

She screamed.

"What the hell are you doing!"

Draco was up and out of bed like a shot, and Harry was just up. He was groggy and confused, and in no way close to being awake enough to begin to comprehend what was happening.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Harry! You're awake!"

"Yes Granger, he's awake. Thanks to you, his sleeping was cut short."

"You stay out of it. Harry, why were you in bed with the person who tried to kill you!"

"What? He didn't try to kill me."

"Yes he did. He brought you here, and you were almost dead, and he said it wasn't him, but I knew it was."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and him, and how he's put some sort of enchantment or something on you to make you like him. It's disgusting, and if you let Madame Pomfrey check you over you'll see. He'll go to Azkaban and –"

"Hermione! What are you talking about?"

"Harry, he's done something to you! Can't you see? Well, of course you can't. But _I_ can, and you will be back to normal. But first," Hermione whipped out her wand and with a "STUPIFY!" Draco was on the ground, unconscious.

Hermione smiled, it was a slightly deranged smile, and turned towards Harry, who was still sitting up on the bed.

"Hermione, I'm fine now, just...put the wand down okay?"

"Oh Harry, he's brainwashed you. Don't you get it? We'll put you right, and then –"

"Stupify!"

Hermione fell to the ground, he wand flying out of her hand.

"Ron!"

"Hey. Woke up after Hermione left, thought I might as come and help, see if you were awake yet, and heard her spiel about you and Draco. Thought i'd lend a hand."

The red head smiled and walked towards Harry, giving him a hug before stepping towards Draco and casting a quick 'eneverate'.

"You know, you could have gone about that better."

"Better how?"

"Better like _not_ letting her 'Stupify' Draco maybe?"

Ron snorted.

"Harry, I didn't have my wand out until after she did, because I didn't know she was going to do anything other than talk your ear off about stupid shit."

"Well, anyway, thank you. You know, she's probably going to be mad at you."

"Oh, this is the part where I have to inform you I don't care."

"But I thought...and the kiss...you and her..."

"Noooo...not after how crazy she apparently is."

"Not to interrupt this...heartwarming conversation, but may I go back to sleep? Please?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

Draco sighed, and got back into be with Harry, who kissed him before laying back down and going to sleep once more.

_**Ksdf;akf jafaje 9faue faadna;k;fjweorewr awdjfnh fiaweua[9oriua wgfhgiewgprgi ga;gnagrgorj a'sll**_

ELLO!

Soooo, who here is happy that he woke up?

I AM! ME! ME!

Anywho, after that, **coughcough** there are a few more chapters left, and then an Epilogue. so... WE"RE ALMOST DONE! And I can start on a new project. If you have any ideas on what I can start on, send them in a review, a PM, or something, and I'll see what I can do.

I know this is extremely late, by three days, but as those of you who have read Kiss know, I can only update Saturdays and Sundays. But, I will only be able to update two stories. I might throw in a chapter from the other one here or there, but it wont be regularly updated.

So choices are :

1 : Faolin Elves

2 : Kiss

3 : Cuts

Anywho, vote or not, eh.

Pancakes and Syrup,

Lilith G. Astroll


	15. Chapter 15

Harry walked with Draco, Ron, Blaise, and Luna towards the large building. Harry thought it was menacing, but that was probably only his opinion. He wanted to go home, back to Sirius' place, to Ron's house, where Mrs. Weasley would make him a nice feast, and he would eat half his weight in food, and sleep in a warm bed, and wake up and plat Quidditch with Ron and the Twins, if they came over. He just plain didn't want to go. He wasn't a nutter, therefore he didn't see why he had to go.

He had tried reasoning with Draco, Ron, Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George, Blaise, Luna, and even Dumbledore's and Snape's portraits, but it seemed that they all agreed with Draco and Mrs. Weasley.

Harry needed to go see a therapist.

Not because he was nutters, no. But because of the aftermath of the war. Most everyone was seeing one now, but Harry still clung to the Muggle delusion that seeing a therapist meant that you were crazy. It had taken Draco a month, two days, three hours, and over thirty nightmares to convince his fiance, soon to be husband, that he needed help.

Harry was adamant about not going. It wasn't until he had attacked Draco in the middle of the night with a cast iron skillet that he had finally relented. Draco was possibly the most thankful for that one.

"Please baby, please don't make me go. I'll do anything, I'll wash dishes for a year."

"Babe," Draco said, "You already do dishes anyway, so what was the point of that argument?"

"I'll make you do them."

"So?"

"...The muggle way..." Harry threatened.

"Harry, that really isn't even a threat. I'll have you know, that not only can I do the dishes the muggle way, Ron's mother taught me how."

Harry pouted, and sighed again.

"But I still don't see why I have to go."

"Because babe, You almost look out the entirety of my HEAD last week."

"Hey. Hey. Hey-"

"Hi."

"No. That was an accident and you know it."

Draco got up and went to cuddle up to his fiance who was on the floor pouting like a two year old without apple juice.

"I know baby, which is why you need to go. I don't want anymore accidents, and you don't want them either. Not with the twins on the way."

Harry looked down to his slightly bulging stomach, and thought about the future. If he didn't get help, he might attack one of his own children, which horrified him to no end.

"Fine."

"You'll go?"

"Yes."

"Every week, three days a week, until you're better?"

"...Yes." Harry said grudgingly.

"Thank you."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Now go make me a cake with sprinkles, and if they're not the magic ones with the changing rainbow starts and hearts, I swear to God Draco, you wont be getting any for a month.

That was haw Harry had landed here, not even three days later, already wanting to go home. He looked pitifully up at Draco, and sighed. The blonde was pointedly not looking at him, because they both knew that if he did, then Harry would get his way and never have to go to a session. And neither of them wanted to be responsible for the consequences of that.

"Well mate, go do what you gotta do," Ron said smiling. The red head was a happier person these days. What with him and Luna starting to date.

"Yes, Potter, go on. Don't be scared now."

That was Blaise. He wasn't teasing Harry in a bad way. Both he and harry knew that he was adding his own special brand of comfort to the situation.

"The Blibbering Humdingers floating around your head will keep you safe Harry, don't worry too much," Luna supplied.

Ron and everyone else smiled at Luna, accepting her as she was, and trotted away to give Harry and Draco some peace.

"Harry. You know I love you, and you know I only want what's best for _you_."

"I know. Skittish, but I'll make it work."

"Yes I know. You _are_ the Great Harry Potter after all," Draco said jokingly.

"Hey, that's soon to be the Great Harry Malfoy so you can hush."

"Wouldnt have it any other way love."

Harry looked at Draco, and smiled. He gave the blonde a short peck on the lips, and turned towards the building, which no longer looked menacing anymore. To Harry, it was now just a normal building, which couldn't hurt him. He grabbed Draco's hand, squeezed it for comfort, and felt a confident, strong squeeze back.

Yeah.

Life was good.

_**;kjdfa;ifjiewrtu'qewrjkdsnajfw'nefqjrwgopejr'gkqnefgkner'gi'wrhegopqjrg'qklgnakjna;erghewrofjfff**_

ELLO MUNCHKINS!

I am sorry this is short. Well, not really, because I got a nice Epilogue written for you guys, but I wonder...should I post it? Nah... I don't think I should/ What do you guys think.

The epilogue contains my apologies, and shite, so I will not say them here.

Love, Toast, and JAM,

Lilith G. Astroll


	16. Chapter 16

_**Epilogue**_

Harry sighed, and caressed his husband's face. He wanted to wake him up, but Draco didn't get enough sleep as it was, and Harry wasn't going to interrupt that if he didn't have to. He smiled lightly, and snuggled closer to Draco, trying to get as warm, and as close, as possible. Pretty soon he would have to get up, make breakfast, wake the kids, and get them off to school before they missed the bus. Again.

Draco stirred and blearily blinked his eyes open and smiled. Even after seven years together, he still couldn't believe that Harry was his. Not to mention alive. They're time together had a lot of obstacles, but he would go back and go through it all over again if it meant that he would be waking up like this every morning.

"Mmm...babe? Can you make me a breakfast sammich?"

Harry stifled a giggle, still not completely over Draco saying sammich like the kids did, "Sure thing. Let me get dressed first, and check on the kids. Do you want it cheesy scrambled egg style, or normal-scrambled e style?"

"Uhhhmmmm, sunny side scrambled."

Harry smiled, and kissed Draco's cheek before getting dressed.

Once fully clothed, he went to the kids' rooms to check on them, making sure they were safe, and still sleeping. There was only so much of two five year olds and a three year old that he could handle at six thirty in the morning. He walked forward towards the twins room, and checked on them, making sure they were still asleep. Next he walked towards his youngest, and opened the door.

The first thing he noticed was the blanket lying on the floor. He smiled lightly and quietly walked over to pick it up. This was the morning routine he and Tobias had. He knew the little one was awake, but he pretended he didn't. He picked up the blanket, and said - like he did every morning - "I wonder how this got here, after all, I did wrap Tobias up pretty good last night... Must be getting lazy with tucking him in. Maybe tonight will be better."

Then, as expected, a giggle came from the three year old next to him.

"Mommy!" The little boy said, "Come on! We're gonna make sammiches right? Cause today's Tuesday, and Tuesday means sammiches."

"Yes my little blanket hater, today is Tuesday and we are making 'sammiches' as you and your father like to call them."

"Yay!" Tobias yelled before getting up and running towards his bathroom.

He was always afraid that someone would come into their house, even with all of the wards, all around it. So he requested his own bathroom, which his parents willingly gave to him if only to stop the nightmares. At twenty five, Harry was the youngest head of his Department at St. Mungo's. He was happy, there. He didn't get much field work anymore, but he was fine with that. He didn't like the paperwork so much, but he was happy with the job. It rarely stressed him out, and if he didn't finish his work at the office, he always had time to finish it the next day. Honestly? Field workers had more paperwork than he did. He was extremely thankful that those days were over.

Draco, was a Ward Setter, which had surprised every immensely, even Draco's mother, who – like everyone else – had assumed that he would be going into potion making, or at the very least become a Potions Master. They had been pleasantly surprised though. Harry had laughed when he found out that one of the deciding factors of Draco not becoming a Potions Master was because of his hair. He had seen what it had done to Snape's and he was not going to even ruin his hair.

He was happy too. Which he hadn't expected to be. He had actually forged, a few close bonds with people because of his Ward Setter status. At first, people didn't want to hire him because of his name, but Harry, and surprisingly Ron, had helped people think different. After that, Draco's business soared, allowing him to choose his own hours after a year or two.

The twins, who Harry fondly referred to as Little Mischief, were five, and excited about their second week of kindergarten. They had missed the bus twice last week, and Harry had explained to the bus driver about first week hassle. The bus driver, Mrs. Annie, had understood and waited an extra few minutes for the girls. They were trouble incarnate, but Harry wouldn't have them any other way.

He turned on the kitchen light, and as expected, cleaned up the cookie crumbs from the middle of the night when he knew his girls snuck down stairs and had a snack. He pretended he didn't know, and they didn't tell him, but he had a feeling they knew.

He opened the fridge and took out the eggs, butter, milk, cheese, and pancake syrup. From the cupboard, he took out the pancake mix, and set them all on the counter.

"Tobias, go and get Sophia and Evangeline please?"

"Yes mommy!" The little three year old yelled.

He grabbed the eggs, and cracked six of them in adding milk and a few ripped up slices of pre-sliced cheese. After that, he mixed them together before pouring it in the skillet. He worked on the pancakes next, mixing eggs, and milk and pancake mix before ladling the mix onto another skillet. Next, was the toast, which he did magically, to make sure it was hot, and melted the butter just right. He levitated the food all onto the plates, and fixed them up just the way his kids liked them. Lastly was Draco's eggs, which he took the most care of. The blonde man was always so particular about they way his eggs were made.

He placed them all on the table, and went to go check on Tobias and the twins. No doubt they had him stuck underneath their bed. Again. He sighed and wiped off his hands, heading toward the girl's rooms.

"Evangeline, Sophia, if I find out he's stuck under your bed one more time, you won't be able to go to Ambria's birthday party next week."

"But Mama! He was snooping again."

"Sweetheart, I don't care if he was snooping again. That does not merit him getting his head forcibly stuck underneath your bed for the third time this month. Now, hurry up and skedaddle. Its breakfast time and Daddy is still sleeping. Wanna do me a favor and go wake him up?" Harry said from their doorway.

All three of them perked up. Harry pulled Tobias out of the nest of blankets they had wrapped him in, and set him right before all three of them ran off screaming the phrase, "Daddy! WAKE UUUUUP!"

Harry chuckled and cleaned up their room with a flick of his wand.

He walked back towards the kitchen, already hearing his kids making small messes of things at the table. His husband walked in, bleary eyed, and hair still messed up from sleeping.

"Come on, lets get something to eat before there's a tidal wave of syrup and butter."

Draco just nodded and smiled, kissing his shorter husband on the cheek, before sitting down at the table and stealing the pancakes from his children. They whined in mock protest, but cheered happily when he levitated two pancakes on each of their plates. Tobias was still amazed at his father's magic, so the simplest things always amused him.

Pouring syrup over his pancakes, Draco grabbed his breakfast sammich. He bit into it, getting egg yoke all over his mouth. Harry just smiled, and began to make his own breakfast sandwich, in the form a breakfast burrito, complete with cheese and ranch dressing. His children were busy making a mess of themselves, getting syrup all over their faces.

At quarter to seven, he cleaned them up, and got them dressed. He helped them pick out their clothes, and then carted them down to the front door to wait for the bus.

At first, Draco had blatantly refused to let his children go to a muggle school. Harry had asked Draco how his years before Hogwarts had been. Draco thought for a second, and only a second, and then gave up, opting to keep his children out of boredom, and out of Harry's hair.

Tobias though, stayed home with Harry. He was going through a stage where he refused to leave Harry's side, not that Harry minded. He had been dubbed by Draco and the kids as "Mommy's Little Helper." or kiss up in the twins case.

After the dishes were done, and put away, Harry went over to Tobias, who was sleeping in his chair again, and picked him up. He walked over towards the couch and set him down, careful not to wake him. He set an alarm-ward on Tobias, which would alert Harry when the little munchkin was about to wake up.

He went about cleaning the moderately small the house, he had told Draco quite loudly, that he refused to live in a manor with more rooms than the student and staff count of Hogwarts. Draco had tried to persuade Harry that the space was for guests and Christmas dances, and if they ever got attacked then they could hide in the mass amounts of rooms that the manor held. Harry had glared at him for a whole two minutes before the blondes smile withered and he gave in.

Harry knew that Draco had only wanted what was best for him and their kids, but Draco's thinking was based on how he was raised. Harry didn't want that for his children. Nor did he want his kids to be distant from their father. It wasn't healthy, and he would never tell Draco this, but he didn't want Tobias, Evangeline, or Sophia to grow up like their father did.

He sighed, and went back to cleaning the house, glad for once that he could work from home. Tobias wold have an absolute fit if he had to leave, and Harry didn't trust anyone other than Ron and Luna to watch his children.

Harry sighed, and went to go check on his rambunctious little boy.

The blonde seemed to be stirring, but not fully awake. Just as expected, a few seconds later, a tiny buzzing on Harry's wrist started up, and was almost immediately shut off. Tobias was awake, and after his juice, he would be fully operational to help Harry finish cleaning the third floor, where the guest rooms and play rooms were.

"Tobias..." Harry sing-songed, "Will you come help me clean up the rooms upstairs please?"

Tobias sleepily nodded and climbed up and into Harry's arms, who walked towards the kitchen and grabbed the apple juice from the fridge.

"Mommy, when we're done cleaning, can we visit Miss. Hermione?"

Harry froze, almost dropping the container of juice, and slowly turned around.

"Maybe another day sweetheart, Miss. Hermione is a very...busy woman."

Tobias seemed a little sad afterward, but only until Harry handed him the apple juice.

Hermione, had been locked up in St. Mungos' Janus Thickey Ward after her attack on Harry and Draco. She was sort of a special case there. She was lucid, and completely sane unless Draco was mentioned, and then all hell broke loose, everyone she came in contact with who had dark brown or black hair and was male became 'Harry' who she tried to save. Every blonde male became 'Draco' whom she tried to kill so she could 'save' Harry from his husband. He didn't like being around her or visiting her, but he did go every once in a while, because he knew she deserved to be visited by her once-upon-a-time best friend.

When Tobias had finished his apple juice, he looked expectantly at Harry, who made a funny face and shooed him upstairs to help dust.

Harry really hated when Tobias asked to visit Hermione. He was reluctant to let Tobias in the same building as her, let alone the same room. He was afraid that one day, when he was bigger, she would see in him Draco, and everything would be ruined. He honestly did love her, but he did not want to risk his kids just to visit her.

Ron, as it turned out, had married Luna Lovegood. Harry was pleasantly surprised when they had gotten together, but never thought it would last. It did last, for almost six years. They were married two years after they started dating. They didn't have children, but they were working on it. Luna was a little over _enthusiastic_, which had begun to drive Ron up the wall. She was always calling him away from work to work on their _'project',_ which, he didn't mind, but it was starting to take a toll on his work. Harry was expecting the news any day now that Luna was pregnant. He had her baby gift all picked out, and her baby shower all planned. Draco thought it was a little early, and sort of backwards to not tell the mother-to-be about her own pre-planned baby shower, but Harry had shushed him and told him to get back to work.

The only thing that hadn't fallen into place, besides Hermione, was Draco's parents.

Harry still winced whenever Draco brought up Lucius. Though the man was accepting of the children, he still loathed Harry to the core. Narcissa on the other hand, absolutely loved the children and Harry, much to Harry's relief, and Draco's disbelief. The twins loved their grandmother, who spoiled them rotten. Tobias, surprisingly, brought out the playful side that they only ever saw when the children was around. Draco had been a little miffed about that at first, but after a few months, he learned to accept it. Another benefit about having the children was Draco and his father getting along better.

Harry still went to therapy, but only once a month, instead of the three times a week that he used to go. It was slowly getting less frequent, and Harry and Draco both knew that that part of Harry's past would always be with them, it wouldn't shadow their lives as it once had.

It was still a rocky journey, filled with ups and downs, but Harry wouldn't have it any other way.

**END**

Ello there my duckies, how's school in the states? Anywho, just thought I would update this after...what? 5...6...months? Yeah sounds about right. Sorry it took so long, but you know, year 11 is a shit year, and well, it wasn't nice to me this semester. Hope your Hols were nice and dandy, and the eggnog plentiful, and all that happy rot.

Love, Toast, and JAM,

Lilith. G. Astroll.

P.S.

I WILL BE STARTING A NEW PROJECT AFTER THIS ONE!

There will be a poll up sometime this week, and well, you know what to do, there will be several choices, Eventually they will all get made, but I would like you guys to vote on what you would like me to do.

Have a happy Christmas vacay, and have a merry new year. Don't get too pissed or shit-faced alright?


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